Being grounded for a month meant that I couldn’t get my drugs, so I was unusually (and painfully) lucid during this time.

FGXB would call me everyday to chat about how much sex he was having with my so-called-friend Gina. My cheeks would be glistening with tears on the other end, but I never once sniffled. I was too proud to hang up on him or show any distress.

However I did start cutting class, because I just couldn’t bear to see the two lovebirds walking around the school hallways.  And ok, I preferred sleeping in to showing up for pre-calculus (by the way, I’m the only Asian person post- 200 B.C. who failed pre-calc twice).

snarky, self-aggrandizing side note: when FGXBF started going out with Gina, the “you’re the coolest couple ever!” fan club disappeared. It was like Motley Crue trying to do a reunion tour WITHOUT Tommy Lee -- girls will take their panties elsewhere.

Let’s Do the Time Warp Again

Towards the end of my month-long sentence, FGXBF came up to me.  “Some girl invited me to a ‘Rocky Road Horror’ movie party? She said I have to dress up and bring rice.”

And I squealed.

Rocky Horror Picture Show is one of my fave movies. Also, I had recently seen a documentary about audience participation in downtown NYC theaters.

“I’ll help you dress up if you bring me to the party,” I offered.

And wouldn’t you know, the party was on same day my grounding expired. So, I was free to jump into Gina’s car and go over to FGXBF’s host family house.

I’m Just a Sweet Transvestite…

“Hi!” FGXBF answered the door dressed in a red sequin dress, with black fishnets and a face caked with  70′s crack whore makeup (his 12-yr-old host sister had used him like a life-size Barbie).

I guffawed. He looked ridiculous and funny.

But next to me, Gina wasn’t laughing. In fact, she was barely giving him eye contact.

…From Trans Sexual…

The party was held in the basement of some girl’s house, and it seemed that all the druggie -metalhead high schoolers from the area were invited.

I knew no one. And, although I had done my best to look gothic, I was still decidedly more Brit-Pop in aesthetic than the rest of the grungy crowd.

Reminder, this is back in the mid-1990′s, so the crowd we’re talking about are tall skinny boys with long ponyatils and the bottom parts of their heads shaved. And girls built like Wagnerian altos with faded Kool-Aid dyed hair and wiggly black eyeliner.

Everyone brought rice. But no one else had bothered dressing up.

Except, of course…

The girls crowded around FGXBF, as the movie started. “Hey, why doesn’t he play Frankenfurter?”

…TRANSYLVANnnnIA!!!

Rice was thrown.

Newspapers were put on top of heads.

And then…

FGXBF started dancing on cue.

To the best-looking goth boy in the room.

And also on cue, Gina stood up and opened her mouth, as if she were going to join in on the merry-making.

Instead, she stared at FGXBF, who was undulating his ass over this goth boy’s crotch.

Her lips started trembling.

And with a choked sob, she ran out of the house.

That’s a MAN, baby!

Our go-to ride forever gone -- FGXBF and I got a ride from some other partygoer.

And wouldn’t you know, my mom agreed to let me use her car that night.

So, we decided to go see a movie. And you know how it goes:

Girl and boy sit in dark theater.

Girl and boy start making out.

Girl gives blow job to boy.

Boy cums in a wad up piece of Kleenex.

FGXBF was now my boyfriend again…