A Gay Love Story – Avatar Koo and The FGXBF (Part 2)
August 5th, 2009
In case you missed it, here is Part 1.
The first month of my relationship with FGXBF is a blur. But I will say this: I had never felt so giddy about a boy before.
By the end of week 1, I gave him a homemade card: I drew a stick figure with crazy long arms, extended. The caption?
“I Love You THIIIIIIIIS Much!”
I had never used that L-word before.
By 3rd period, FGXBF told me, “I love you, too!”
Remember, this is after knowing each other for less than 5 days.
The First Kiss
To be honest, I don’t remember. More due to the copious drugs I was smokin’ rather than FGXBF skills (more on that in later installments).
The First Boom-Shaka-Laka
Maybe 2 weeks into the relationship, FGXBF’s host family’s mini-van dropped him off in front of my house.
When I answered the bell, he was totally blocking off the entire doorway.
“What the hell are you doing?” I asked him.
“I knew you’d be wearing close to nothing, and I don’t want my host family knowing we’re going to have sex,” he said.
He knew me so, so well; I had answered the door wearing just a man’s button up shirt. And if THAT outfit on a 16-yr-old girl doesn’t spell out “a-fucking we will go” – then I don’t know what does.
This is all I really remember (again – the drugs)
FGXBF was my 2.5th boyfriend
Just to clarify – I did NOT lose my virginity to FGXBF. That honor went to my 0.5th boyfriend, a Chinese guy who was 1st violin in the school orchestra.
0.5 didn’t want to be official with me – he just wanted to molest me in the music storage room and have sex.
I shudder to think of how this has permanently scarred my fragile little mind.
My 1.5th bf was a Weezer-nerdy drummer who was really into jazz. We met in French class and even the teacher was like, “oh, you guys are gonna get together.”
I couldn’t remember my locker combo, so he even let me share his locker during our 2 months together. But, there was no sex and I soon lost interest.
The breakup was cold as ice.
Lunch-period celebrities…
From day 1, the entire high school was enthralled with the unfolding melodrama of me and the FGXBF. Probably because I was a total freakazoid with hair very similar to Saffron from the now-defunct band Republica:
And FGXBF was a Malboro-smokin’, limp-wrist sashayin’, Nordic anomaly who looked awfully close to a young Leo Di Caprio:
Remember, this is back in 1995 or so, when my suburban high school was mainly populated by non-practicing Jews who listened to Dave Matthews Band. To the student body, me and FGXBF were total drag queens.
Side note: there was also a huge Asian population in my school . They didn’t care about FGXBF. As far as they were concerned, FGXBF was an invisible fragment of white-people’s imagination.
Fortunately, instead of being harassed, we had a fan following.
One girl offer us her Ritalin (for us to snort).
Another constantly wanted to take our picture.
And yet another would just pop out randomly like a Gummi Bear and yell, “You guys are, like, the coolest couple EVER!”
Funny enough, we didn’t really have male fans
Many years later, a guy classmate told me, “Yo, your boyfriend at that time? I just wanted to punch him in the fucking face. He was just so gay.”
Frenemies conspire to steal my man
A cute emo boy is catnip to high school girls.
My boyfriend was hyper-cute and pre-emo.
All the girls wanted him. Especially the theater/music/bad girls.
This pleased me, inordinately. Who doesn’t want to be with a coveted item? Fuck Birkin bags – having a living, breathing object of desire on your arms is far more ego-boosting.
So anyways, I had a fair share of non-Asian female friends.
One of them was a blonde whiner named Gina. She loved The Cure, wore cute bobby pins in her hair, and drove a retro station wagon that instantly made her grunge-cool.
Gina would ask me stuff like, “Do you mind if I take your boyfriend to the movies? Considering you don’t have a car, and he really wants to see [insert some inane flick playing at the local theater].”
And, instead of saying, “back off, bitch!” I said, “sure, thanks!”
By week 3 of me and FGXBF’s relationship, Gina became our go-to ride.
…and then I was grounded
Who knows what I did – I was always getting in parental trouble for cutting school and having a smart-ass mouth. And I was grounded - FOR A WHOLE MONTH. That’s a huge chunk of life for a person whose been alive for only 16 years.
When I told FGXBF that I couldn’t hang out with him and Gina for a month – they were both really sympathetic. For about 3 days.
On day 4, FGXBF comes up to me in school and asks, “Hey…so…do you mind if I start going out with Gina?”
Which I knew meant: I-already-had-sex-with-her-but-I-wanna-cover-my-ass.
Ouch.
Ouch.
Ouch.
Right when I really needed him to endure month-long social isolation, FGXBF, the boy I was planning to marry, dumps me.
For a girl with a car.
What else could I say? “Sure. You can go out with Gina.”
And then he followed with, “Can we still be friends?”
I wasn’t going to let him know that my heart had just been plopped into a blender. And pulverized into a bloody smoothie. “Sure, we can still be friends.”
And yet – something in me refused to give up hope. That once my grounding was finished, something would happen.
Something magical.
Something mythical.
Something that would bring back FGXBF to my bitter, tear-soaked arms…
Keep reading the rest : Part 3
category: love life
