• @sladkydevotchka yea! let's all get vajazzled 2gether! in reply to sladkydevotchka #
• u kno where I'm going 2nite? KRAZYKINKYPURIM at The Delancy, co-hosted by nice Jewish girl @melaniezoey +her crew http://bit.ly/a3RHM9 #
• @mfeige I love Rie – I wish I had a blue fuckin' bob and red eyes… in reply to mfeige #
• #McSpanky is coming too – wearing tight-ass black pants. As in, his junk +sugar lumps r totally poppin' *meow* #
• Sitting w/#McSpanky + @writingdirty + @gooselives. At CRAZYKINKYPURIM #

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• #McSpanky ordered me to lay on my stomach. I expected a spanking…. #
• …instead, he applied something cold, wet and sticky to my lower back… #
• …oh yes. He applied Gustav Klimt art nouveau temporary tattoos on my back dimples: [IMAGE] http://bit.ly/cVgqmg #
• omg @lemonyhead – I asked #McSpanky if I could get #vajazzled at @completelybare http://bit.ly/c4iaHa. He said yes. #
• Gonna get #vajazzled for Steak+Blowjob Day (3/14) @lemonyhead. #
• #McSpanky is so spoiled: on Steak+BJ Day, he's getting bling-bling pussy, homemade blueberry pie&fried chicken. But – he deserves it #
• requested by @siniful: pic of my bare ass, with the Gustav Klimt temp tattoos [PICTURE]: http://bit.ly/9rvdFT Art Nouveau in da HOUSE! #
• brb: afternoon schtuppin about the commence. #McSpanky #
• back from afternoon sex. Watching Neon Genesis Evangelion w/#McSpanky. #
• @lemonyhead @melaniezoey f-word punishment has been downgraded to hard hand spanking vs. paddle. I'm wearing him down! in reply to lemonyhead #
• watching #McSpanky rip up carpet from hallway. Arm muscles poppin'. Me: "ooh, take off ur shirt." Him: "Control yourself, little girl." #
• @lemonyhead I intend to get waxed around March 5. If you wanna go w/me, let's do this! in reply to lemonyhead #

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• So, #McSpanky + I decided that me walking through unshoveled, snowy sidewalks is a death sentence. So, I'm staying home from work 2day #
• of course, Mr. Midwest "Get-Sand-Out-of-Your-Pussy-You-Call-This-Little-Thing-a-Fuckin'-Snowstorm" #McSpanky trudged to work. #
• Finally convinced it was winter last nite, @curlyboop. I had to walk along walls like Cold War spy in Pentagon last nite lest I slip+fall #
• @fishtron #McSpanky indeed had to hold my "flipper" (haha!) and walk my sorry penguin-waddling-ass home #
• @ejbrooks have u considered getting brazilian keratin straightening treatment? Or Japanese thermal straightening perm? @jeremywright #
• @viviane212 no snow boots yet – still using the plastic bags wrapped around my feet! Why do I imagine u have huge boots w/fur trim? in reply to viviane212 #
• @brianspaeth have u started upgrading ur DVDs to Blu-Ray? I'm srsly considering… in reply to brianspaeth #
• #McSpanky said no when I wanted bloody shower curtain from @charlesandmarie. So will he b ok w/bloodbath shower gel http://bit.ly/ayCaKQ #
• snowy days perfect4 listening 2fave Chopin Nocturne http://bit.ly/akOFNh, reading Russian Criminal Tattoo Encycl. http://bit.ly/9F4Plo #
• @ejbrooks it's perm that makes ur hair Gucci model straight, right out of shower. No need for straightening iron. I used 2have it. Timesaver in reply to ejbrooks #
• @sandy_radbabe where do u work? At first glance, it seems u r producer for a Christian TV show? haha! in reply to sandy_radbabe #
• 2cheer u up @lemonyhead: [VID] http://bit.ly/9eJCaB I sing this song, esp. end parts, to #McSpanky (substituting Bret's name for his) #

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• having corporate job AND insomnia is an unfortunate mix. Much like polka dots AND stripes on leggings #
• Avatar Koo's blog: Tweetsgiving: What I’m Grateful For http://bit.ly/a9aRVo #
• Snowing like God's cleaning out the dust bunnies under his bed. Violinst playing Vivaldi's "Four Seasons" at ferry terminal w/dramatic flair #
• Times like this, I wouldn't b surprised if a Russian ice dancing comes out, fiercely skating across linoleum #
• It warms my heart how a thuggish teen boy w/pants falling off his ass will take out iPod earbuds to listen to Vivaldi's winter movement #
• Co-worker fed seagulls+now our office has become Hitchcock movie. Birds looking in windows, undressing our lunches w/their beady eyes… #
• Reading my tweets from 8/2009. Oh fuck me, I was more interesting when I wasn't getting laid (so, don't fuck me): http://bit.ly/aLwFlZ #
• #McSpanky has2 pick me up from work b/c, tho I walk like penguin, I can't walk snowy streets like penguin. My hand must be held #
• Vivaldi's Winter 2nd movement (looped) is perfect soundtrack when smokin' (non-crack) pipe, @sandy_radbabe [MUSIC VID] http://bit.ly/9rJE4D #
• birds always want to steal my goddamn food, @docstrange. Like those pigeons who stalked me in Chinatown park 4 my Wah Fung roast duck meal #
• @CorsetNCardigan tweets r far more interesting when life is miserable, bitter black hole of non-schtuppable holes. Great sex = artistic ruin in reply to CorsetNCardigan #
• Vivaldi's Summer, 3rd Movement provides delightful ambiance during crack induced paranoia, @onelifetaketwo [MUSIC VID] http://bit.ly/alXhv #
• @melaniezoey #McSpanky took sweet 2new level, bought me Mo's Bacon Bar http://bit.ly/bkixyb (@goodnighthorse+I obsessed abt 'em last summer) in reply to melaniezoey #
• @lemonyhead uh no…wats going on? Why the tears? in reply to lemonyhead #
• my Google Wave cherry now popped (yipee!) Using it 2discuss preliminary @KinkForAll #KFANYC3 stuff #

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• some peeps don't eat when they're upset. I hate 'em. I stuff my face. Like now. When I ate 2 bowls of cereal. I dislike carbs, too. wtf? #
• some peeps bury themselves in work when they're upset. I hate 'em even more. My brain shuts off. I stare into space like lobotomized monkey #
• wet socks r BANE of my existence, @sensible. During NYC snowstorm, I put plastic bags on feet b4 putting on shoes. Sweaty feet=wet socks too #
• annoyed at how #McSpanky never has neurotic insomnia. I almost want to get 2 pans + bang 'em like cymbals by his head #bitchyfantasies #
• hello, my Asian porn collection. It's been a long time *awkward silence* #
• somehow went from eyeballing hardcore Asian porn to reading Asian blogs? Currently: @eddo_likes_you's "Herra Chinky" http://bit.ly/djI7rj #
• @eddo_likes_you woo hoo! my Google Reader awaits (1) tomorrow. in reply to eddo_likes_you #

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• German ad protesting female genital mutilation may be too subtle and whitewashed: http://bit.ly/a5iy38 (via @Jezebel) #
• sidenote: in high school, my debate partner and I had to DEFEND female genital mutilation (opposing team were 2 guys). We won #
• delivered 2my work cubicle: vintage frat boy wooden spanking paddle (via eBay). Coworker: "it's HUGE!" Me: "cause it's for male asses" #
• @SarahFrantz *hugs* a lot of people cry when frustrated/angry. Better that than punch someone out. Ur preserving societal peace #
• RT @francesamerikey 10 Rules for writing fiction, part two. Will Self made me laugh! http://bit.ly/cgNOJ7 #
• @saynine r u still feeling ill? Do u have access to sauna? Sweating it is painful during, but really efficient at healing #
• was feeling sorry 4my headachy self, 'til I read that @mollena took painkillers + now can't control her farts #
• Now I'm paranoid b/c anytime I read abt people farting, I become hyperaware of any potential farts in my own intestines #
• Just applied to writing space in Union Sq. Lined up 3 references to testify I am "serious" writer. Nervous – will they accept me? #
• I only consider myself "serious" writer b/c I have 2pay taxes on my writing income. $$ makes me feel legit. Is this narrow-minded of me? #
• tho just submitted application 2writing space, already imagining reject email, @bzero: "Sorry. No space 4u. Ever. xoxo, Serious Writers" #
• @francesamerikey I'm biting nails, wondering whether magazine will accept my latest article. How r u? #
• great article by @hugoschwyzer: "Right of woman 2walk unmolested+unchallenged in burqa or bikini worth protecting" http://bit.ly/baFN9m #
• Cute cashier at Whole Foods Tribeca. Dark hair + glasses + striped sweater. I kno, I kno, hipster/band boy =evil. But cute boys simply…are #
• @jenn85 I'm starting to get out of the spanking mindset *gasp* in reply to jenn85 #
• @cowhateration so…did u go to Whole Foods Tribeca and see the cute hipster boy?! in reply to cowhateration #
• @patrickmj thnx! in reply to patrickmj #
• @stacycat sad but true that most writers make diddly-squat. Wat crazy person would want to be a full-time writer? *raises hand* in reply to stacycat #
• other peeps farting = comedy, @sandy_radbabe. Me farting = potential tragedy (I eat way too much garlic+red meat, if ya kno wat I'm sayin') #
• ooh, now I can actually remember these ??! RT @DeanleeNY @sianzu: http://twitpic.com/14udnd ?????? ??! ^^; #
• I actually wrote work email like a tweet/txt + almost sent it this afternoon, @jenn85. Subject: "pls send me file by 5pm 2day. Thnx <end>" #
• @romanticrope now I regret missing @nomnomdom's prez at @conversiovirium. Q: Can bottoms be menacing? (This is wat I miss from my Top days) in reply to romanticrope #

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• @MajaMajaMaja AHAHAHAHA! I wish I cried about burning dinner. Instead, I blame #McSpanky for letting me cook! in reply to MajaMajaMaja #
• @siniful exactly how spicy if your spicy? 'cause #McSpanky eats spicy foods very well, and we make it habanero spicy. in reply to siniful #
• Lots of women enjoy staring at men's crotches, @patrickmj. But only if guy is cute. Otherwise, balls in pants = GROSS #
• I once ate a pyramid of Ferrero Rocher chocolates in about 20 min, @GooseLives. And utterly DESTROYED the poor porcelain goddess afterwards #
• Let's see: Brooklyn, no cover, free Colt 45 from 8-10pm, $5 Colt+shot specials…who else wants 2go? http://bit.ly/bRUPKh (via @weloveshag) #
• @misscalico holy, that is a wicked picture! in reply to misscalico #
• @wendyblackheart Chocolate ain't good for my personal fudge, if ya kno wat I'm sayin'. But I can do 1lb of red meat per sitting in reply to wendyblackheart #
• spent yesterday playing nurse to #McSpanky. Who was massively ill because I (accidentally) poisoned him with chicken. #
• My punishment: really hard spanking. With hand and hairbrush. My ass still feels like it has a heartbeat. #

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• I've slept abt 2hrs/day for a while now. More stressed abt zit on chin than possibility of turning into zombie. My priorities r fucked up #
• Staring at crotch of the cute, young suit sitting across from me on train. He's blushing under my gaze. I'm 2tired 2b civilized+look away #
• #McSpanky suffered from explosive food poisoning all this week. Turns out – I poisoned him. By packing him expired lunch meat #
• me: "Jesus. I'm a black widow." #McSpanky: "don't worry. It's cute that u poisoned me." me: "?!" #

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• This week: barely any tweets, 5 xtra lbs gained, deadline missed, and too busy for Zzzz. Pls update me on ur life. Wat did I miss? #
• This week: realized I'm very Korean, and #McSpanky is very Midwestern white American. We got into tiffs due2 cultural misunderstandings #
• #McSpanky + white peeps: obsessed w/putting every piece of food in fridge. Me + Korean peeps: not so much #
• #McSpanky + white peeps: thinks too much garlic ruins a dish. Me + Korean peeps: raw, whole cloves of garlic popped like aspirin #
• #McSpanky + white peeps: wears shoes in house. Me + Korean peeps: u wanna wear outside shoes, seeped in dog piss+grime, inside? *vomit* #
• @siniful thnk goodness that I speak English fluently. Explaining cultural differences in Konglish would be…interesting #
• @mfeige when will u b in NYC? #
• @goodnighthorse I am learning more and more about white people everyday! Do you guys wear slippers inside, like Asian people? #
• ADORABLE! RT @TimBrownson younger dog just rolled over in her sleep+fell off couch. The look on her face as if 2say WTF? was classic #
• @Mollena therapist once told me, "so, bf dumping u = u suck? Stop being narcissist. Ur not THAT important." Greatest therapist ever #
• @masterslaves @AliceSinAerie l didn't grow up w/lots of white peeps, so I go by wat TV tells me. I know, really bad! I need 2 diversify in reply to masterslaves #
• It's after midnite and I'm still at work. FML FML FML FML FML. Oh, did I mention? FML (!!!) #

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• @siniful so, did he get to come or was his begging for naught? in reply to siniful #

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