• My sister just bought me black faux fur coat from QVC. It looks decently real, with a certain "je nais sais quois" trashiness. LOVE IT! #
• To trash up the faux fur coat more, bought these pins from Etsy: http://bit.ly/90RuZ1 Yep, retro gaming action on imitation dead sable!! #
• But to add just a minimum of class to the faux fur coat – a super wide Michael Kors belt to cinch the waist: http://bit.ly.com/8z6Csw #
• I can't stress the P.I.M.P. freshness of this faux fur coat. Of course i'll b rockin' it w/my usual grafitti kicks+ winter legwarmers #

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• This totally gets me sprung! (even though my Mac OS is 10.4 and I so need to upgrade) RT @tweetmeme MacUpdate Promo http://is.gd/6Tb #
• for blowing your nose, extra-soft toilet paper is superior to regular tissue. #
• #McSpanky had orchids delivered 2me: [PIC] http://bit.ly/5C4htu He doesn't talk much, but he listens+remembers me mentioning they r my fave #
• now I'm thinking #McSpanky really means it when he calls me "Princess" @BRKyle! The flowers r phenomenal. #
• so lovely! @mfeige has come up with a new nickname for #McSpanky (*delighted handclapping*): #McSweety #
• @swtgal_92 #McSpanky definitely has a #McSweety side in reply to swtgal_92 #
• …and now I'm recharging my vibrator on the chair, right by the flowers @Mollena. Fitting. #
• I make a HORRIBLE live-in gf/housewife @swtgal_92. Except for the constant spank-n-schtup aspect. Well, at least my priorities r straight #
• u guys asked for pic of flowers+my vibrator, @Mollena @nikolasco. Voila – "Still Life with Acuvibe": [PIC] http://bit.ly/4MlbEh #
• After considering my happiness, #McSpanky won't have me do housework anymore @ShellyKramer. He still cooks lovely gourmet meals, tho. #
• SCORE! Found video I shot of #McSpanky after spanking party. We're in our apt; he's taking off suit vest while I make lascivious comments… #
• …best part – I get bratty and #McSpanky gives me "the look" and I immediately turn videocam off. Did I mention men in suits = HAWT ?!?! #
• @writingdirty snob in reply to writingdirty #
• goddammit. #McSpanky video is only 18-sec long and wouldn't even qualify as softcore porn. Inadequate masturbation material. CURSES! #

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• Q:Before you met #McSpanky what was you… A:I was always sexually curious. At age… http://formspring.me/avatarkoo/q/2565097 #formspringme #
• omg – my lack of culinary skills is so infamous that #McSpanky asked a neighbor to cook for me while he's gone. And she agreed?! #
• neighbor just cooked me steak. She's leaving it outside my door because I'm coughing so hard I may spray mucous on her. #
• I need to be held upside down or something and have all the mucous drained out of me. (btw, is this gross?) #
• #McSpanky isn't perfect. But *I* have perfected the art of eh-gyul (<– korean for "acting like baby") @paulkim511. #
• #McSpanky knows I need lots of red meat to recover, @Nobilis. And there ain't no Peter Luger on Staten Island to deliver. #
• I feel guilty @paulkim511: #McSpanky asked same neighbor to go to store to pick me up medicine. Basically, he assigned her as my babysitter #
• @andysowards do NOT get Counter Strike! Unless u want to give up sleeping, eating regular meals. Don't u remember how addictive it was b4?! in reply to andysowards #
• @andysowards my ex-bf spent way 2much time on CS. It got to pt. where he was talking smack to 12-yr-olds online (who were kicking his ass) in reply to andysowards #
• WORST thing to tell your gf when she's crying ('cause coughing+sneezing up mucous hurts like a muthafucka) = "calm down" #
• @goodnighthorse do you have a fairy infestation? in reply to goodnighthorse #
• @writingdirty missing karaoke is fucking depressing. @kwanzer can commiserate in reply to writingdirty #
• @laurmoran will men ever learn?! When a girl is in hysterics, diamonds are the only way to go. in reply to laurmoran #
• @CorsetNCardigan who else is there at karaoke? here I am, at home, coughing and in tears. Stuck at home for 1WEEK! (small violin playing) in reply to CorsetNCardigan #

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• one of the few perks of laying in bed, sick: hearing churchbells at noon. #
• I'm in shock & awe RT @viviane212 How about a dance party at the Russian Baths in Coney Island? http://bit.ly/80oXam #
• Rihanna's "Hard" vid = unsexiest gun shooting by hot chick, EVER @MBtheREMIX. But i do like chicks w/power tools [VID]: http://bit.ly/7JfTwX #
• Yes, sexist. But damn, I ROFL+like @methodtweet even more RT @cunningminx commercial pulled for being sexist: http://cunningminx.tumblr.com/ #
• @Mollena @cunningminx @methodtweet those Shiny Suds chanting "LOOFAH LOOFAH!" will now haunt my dreams… in reply to Mollena #
• @Babecakes congrats! wat r u studying? in reply to Babecakes #
• extremely jealous. I only have that fake turkey shit in fridge. BLECK! RT @bortflancrest I just ate about 750g of bacon. I am awesome #
• @CorsetNCardigan I suck! But that's why people like to have me at karaoke. Shit, as long as I go, I don't care wat my purpose is @gooselives in reply to CorsetNCardigan #
• rub it in, why don't u @bortflancrest! #McSpanky does food-shopping. Which is why we have turkey bacon+other health foods. *depressed* #
• #damn @sensible, @bortflancrest just had bacon+now ur having Chinese. I'm flu-y, have no cash+fridge filled w/health foods. GOD HATES ME #
• the concept of potentially spanking @gooselives for karaoke boo-boos motivates me to recover health fully by 2morrow. #
• Question: I have backlog of blog posts I never put up. Should I post them w/dates they were written? Or post them w/current date? #
• #McSpanky took our toothpaste with him to the Midwest. He has left me bacon-less, Chinese food-less, and now toothpaste-less. #
• Sent #McSpanky dramatic txt: "did u take it, leaving me 2fight flu-breath solo? Life=meaningless. After masturbating 2x, byebye cruel world" #
• @paulkim511 @swtgal_92 @writingdirty thnx for suggestions. I'll put them w/dates written so they flow better. #
• I hope #McSpanky realizes I'm joking. But it would be gutless to send him a "SIKE!" txt now. #
• But #McSpanky is already filled w/guilt about leaving town while I'm ill: he even ordered flowers 4me. Wat if I added fire to his torment? #
• Welcome back, neurotic tendencies! I wondered if u'd b gone 4eva *tears o'joy* I'm gonna be ok. Thank you Jesus, I'm gonna be ok #
• I'm in stage 3 now… RT @ShellyKramer @cheth @arkarthick: @oatmeal's The 3 Phases of Owning a Computer #Hilarious http://su.pr/Asvfut #
• I'm so jealous+possesive that this is my unofficial theme song, @avaamnesia: [VID] Bryan Ferry+Roxy Music "Jealous Guy" http://bit.ly/6XyhlW #
• #FormSpringMe I'm reading from @Mollena @saynine @writingdirty is very educational, enlightening. Now I'm in on fun: http://bit.ly/6C9LIZ #
• Q:Your favourite sexual position? A:variations of doggie style/laying on my stomac… http://formspring.me/avatarkoo/q/2466592 #formspringme #
• Q:Do you pick your nose? A:of course! it's very refreshing http://formspring.me/avatarkoo/q/2467014 #formspringme #
• Q:If you had only 10 foods to eat the r… A:1. beef2. raw butter3. foie gras4. ra… http://formspring.me/avatarkoo/q/2466900 #formspringme #
• Q:Is bigger better? A:If it's hard enough to hammer a nail through the wall. Other… http://formspring.me/avatarkoo/q/2469447 #formspringme #

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• #McSpanky leaves town today. Is is wrong that I'm doing the happy chicken dance b/c I have 16 days to myself? #
• #GoogleVoice is totally failing. I didn't get voicemail or txts for past 2 days. FUCK! I'm disabling it immediately #
• yea I have actual flu+fever. But I also have electroclash FEVER! [ALBUM] Gestamstkunstwerk (on @BleepBot's storefront) http://bit.ly/4XyDoL #
• I already used vibrator 3x tonight @CorsetNCardigan. #McSpanky out of town = hot, solo party in my panties! #
• I've been coughing up my lungs @paulkim511. And running a high fever. But my voice sounds divine. Like Oprah after smoking too many cigars #
• @GooseLives I totally fucking missed out?! @writingdirty, DO I KNOW THE BOY YOU SMOOCHED??!?!?!?!?!?!?! in reply to GooseLives #
• I just learned something new – J-Lube, which is technically for veterinary use only, makes for really great ass lube http://bit.ly/4v5kfs #

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• this morn, I wake up to #McSpanky's belt. 5 good strokes. Then good schtuppin'. Finally, a good swallow. #
• I have 25 more belt strokes this evening. It was 20, but then I got sassy and he added 5 more. Oops. #
• British exec who thumbed me is back in town. For some reason, I still haven't told him I have bf (live-in bf, fer crissake!). I'm lame #
• Brit exec: "u look tired.Why?" Me: (real answer: long commute from staten island, where i live w/new bf) "oh, not enuff sunlight" #
• Brit exec: "u should drink more beer." Me: (omg does he want me to go out 2bar again? PANIC!) "Ha, best advice ever. Well, nite." I'm LAME #
• Btw – girl with nice rack just walked past me on Wall St. As in, I did double-take and twirled arnd to watch her sashay by… #
• I ate vending machine Doritos for lunch 'cause I'm broke. I qualify 4 those church brown bag lunches. #
• #McSpanky gave me lunch $ this morning but i forgot it on coffee machine. Now i'm ready 2pass out. Growing…Cold…Darkness… #

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