• As soon as I get Google Reader unread count to under 300, I then subscribe to 20 more blogs, @paradisetossed. It's a lost cause! #
• How did Ke$ha's "Tik Tok" set new female download record? It's sooo wiggety wack! http://bit.ly/8DGPe (via @wsjspeakeasy) #
• @CTK1 hai, sensei #
• via @TimBrownson: procrastination, and (borrowing from Leon in "Curb") how to topsy turvy tha muthafucka: http://bit.ly/7j4MXQ #
• Couple of peeps went into train even after conductor said "out of service – no passengers." The door closed – w/ the guys inside #
• Wat happens when u get stuck inside out-of-service train? And it pulls away? Do u go into limbo, like Neo in Matrix 3? #
• #McSpanky's calls me: "O love o'my life, O apple o'my eyes, O tender o'my loin." Considering he rarely speaks, "tender o'my loin" = romantic #
• Eavesdropping on other ferry passengers. Girl points 2her v. round male friend: "at party, he was wearing bubblegum pink. He looked chewy" #

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• ooh, ooh, I want sexy arms @SarahFrantz! Now I actually have motivation to do push-ups. #McSpanky should send u thank-u card! #
• @lemonyhead it's more fun WATCHING a cute boy do push-ups than to do them yourself #
• Recap of last nite: 20 spankings w/big hairbrush. I sobbed+cried. Still bruised from his belt spanking. #
• Oh, and then #McSpanky had me bend over a chair in kitchen + he schtupped me. Awkward b/c he's much taller and I had 2b on tippie toes #
• French r getting boring + sleeping early instead of partying; so now the gov't is getting involved: http://bit.ly/6RSxPf (via @salonmedia) #
• Some of the most fabulously obnoxious shoes I've come across (they're fair trade too!) I may just buy a pair…http://bit.ly/4R7LqR #
• @BRKyle @SarahFrantz wow, thanx for tips! I've never thought abt my arms b4, but now I will… #
• @gooselives those Frenchies better shape up before they turn Belgian! (yes, I went there…) #
• Much of corporate world is like Congress, too: "Facebook Helps Congressmen think like V. Diesel" http://sbne.ws/r/3z1h (via @sbosm) #
• Afghanistan has skateboarding park+school, hoping it will keep kids safe+well-socialized: ÄPICÑ http://bit.ly/4ze6IV (via The Big Picture) #
• Ah, nostalgic walk down 2009's top 9 Internet Memes (how did I miss meme on slide 8?): http://bit.ly/8JwFzn (via @HelenASPopkin) #
• So proud of myself – I got my Google Reader unread items from 1,000+ to 243 in 3 days. #
• I'm like the worst culture vulture ever – I'm streamlining and ruthlessly cutting down too much input/cultural clutter for 2010. #

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• Recap of last nite w/#McSpanky: hard belt spanking (my ass + inner thighs), hard schtuppin', + $45 of Chinese takeout. I'm SORE, inside+out #
• My ass flesh did regnerate nerves during #McSpanky's absence, @CTK1. After spanking, he had to load tons of aloe + ice on my poor flesh #
• I was a total brat to #McSpanky last nite, @writingdirty. It took until this morning to "break" me back into bottom-mode again. #
• #McSpanky: "who does ur ass belong to?" Me: "To me…OUCH! (heavy, disapproving spanking) ok, maybe u own my ass 50% of time…OW OW OW!" #
• Sex is WEIRD, @sensible. Exchange of bodily fluids + squishy noises + contorted faces. Our biological drive makes us crave such things!? #
• @danny_dickblood wat is lobster gravy? #
• #McSpanky brought back candy cigarettes. Kids in midwest are given these things. Jesus, might as well give them candy crack pipes. #
• Watching #McSpanky do push-ups on bedroom floor. He's in wifebeater+pj bottoms. Muscles popping out. DAYUM! #
• #McSpanky is shocked that I can't do even ONE push-up. I'm like, wats the big deal? How does push-up ability affect my life? It doesn't. #
• #McSpanky is now doing the pushups where you have propel yourself off floor and clap ur hands. Wow, so much macho. I should lay on him. #

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• I was a good girl. No random hook-ups or debauchery. On Staten Island ferry right now, going home #
• @CorsetNCardigan dim sum go go is da bomb diggety: http://bit.ly/8NSzUx in reply to CorsetNCardigan #
• @lemonyhead even people who live in West Village can't give me directions. It's almost pathetic in reply to lemonyhead #
• @writingdirty I remember @gooselives' fresh brazilian wax back in July. I'm sure u're thrilled w/her bare cooch right now! in reply to writingdirty #
• @Melanie_Wyatt thnx for the http://schmap.it/mt7sVt?a (Twitter-friendly map, made at http://www.schmap.it) of Babeland! in reply to Melanie_Wyatt #
• #McSpanky looks like boi (prettier than me), but is a real boy, @siniful. So I get best of all worlds. #
• #McSpanky prefers totally bare, @masterslaves. I usually have hitler mustache below but he insisted I wax it all off. #
• I'm drunkity drunk drunk but promised #McSpanky pics of my bare kitty. How the hell am I supposed to take these pics? I'm not that flexible #
• #McSpanky arrived home safe and sound, back from Detroit. I'm at my work cubicle. Does anyone else see wats wrong with this picture? #
• Excited 2find http://issuu.com . In "featured magazines – visual inspiration" nice 2 see cool stuff w/out trekking2 New Museum on Bowery #
• Having anxiety abt reuniting w/ #McSpanky after 16days apart. Longing for someone is dramatic, romantic. Living w/someone is mundane, tough #
• On Staten Island ferry, going home to reunite w/#McSpanky after 16 days apart. Why am I so nervous? My stomach is churning battery acid #
• (damn, I need to trim my bangs) ok, back to melodramatic breakdown. Where was I? #
• Can I just shake #McSpanky's hand and say, "jolly good 2have u back, guvna."? Low pressure + friendly. #
• I think I forgot how to be a bottom. Or submissive. And how to have sex. I may still remember how to cuddle in bed, but not sure #
• Omg, ferry about 2dock. I'M NOT READY! Debating 2swim back 2Manhattan in spite of death by hypothermia. Dying now of hyperventilation #

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• Even w/me, his live-in gf, #McSpanky tends to be prim+proper @lemonyhead. So, his down-n-dirtiness right now ROCKS. Vive le vodka shots! #
• @lemonyhead oh, I would NEVER pressure anyone to do vodka shots. *cough ough* in reply to lemonyhead #
• Inevitable family drama is why I happily stayed home alone this Xmas @KageyNYC, & why I'm new advocate of Zombie Yule: http://bit.ly/7Yic6w #
• @KageyNYC I wish there was spreading of Xmas cheeeeeks (ha!). Nah, #McSpankys been out-of-town for 2 weeks; he doesn't practice Zombie Yule in reply to KageyNYC #
• @DavidGallaher ur dog dug all the poop from the kitty litter? That's pretty damn evil. And hilarious. Pt goes to: DOG in reply to DavidGallaher #
• Off to dim sum. I haven't been up this early on a Sunday…well, up this early + not having roll in hay…in 2 weeks. I'm a lazy sod #
• There r 2 neighborhoods in mnhattan that r very easy 2 get lost in: west village + chinatown. I only kno chinatown cause i lived here #
• My friend wants me to go to a protest in Times Sq w/ her. Friend: "we're protesting occupation" Me: "occupation of wat? Neiman Marcus?" #
• Finished getting my cooch waxed bare. Srsly, Bimala at Shobha SoHo knows her way around my kitty. #McSpanky should send her thank u card #
• So NICE to b hairless again. It's almost $70 every 3 weeks but #McSpanky + I agree we'd rather buy less food than give up a bare cooch #
• Couldn't help but flirt w/a cute boi. Pretty face+willowy body wearing masculine attire = dizzyingly hot #
• Stocking up on ass lube + flavored lube (for blowjob) at Babeland. 'Cause #McSpanky is coming back home 2morrow #
• At a hotel in Times Sq. Finnish gay x-bf is in town. Oh dear God – I want to b good girl. Please prevent me from doing stooopid shit #

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• Q:Do you write autobiographical erotica… A:I take certain events of my life as a… http://formspring.me/avatarkoo/q/6955816 #formspringme #
• Since I've been frying everything I eat w/ghee (clarified butter), I swear my thighs r skinnier. That's my official story #
• did I mention that I've gorged on chocolate truffles #McSpanky sent me, and yet I'm 5lbs thinner? (Again, this is my official story) #
• @saynine wat happens if u don't flat iron ur beard? in reply to saynine #
• Spent all night singing Jack's Lament from "Nightmare Before Christmas," @MrNylons @siniful @CorsetNCardigan: [VID] http://bit.ly/7NOeEr #
• @Nicholai greatest justification ever to explain why I cancelled my gym membership. Now, where the hell is @malene_chica to add an "AMEN"? in reply to Nicholai #
• Simple, practical idea – over 3 lunches, have friend coach u through short-term goal RT @CTK1 http://blog.3lunches.com/about (via @3Lunches) #
• if I were a Japanese record exec, I'd sign this white girl IMMEDIATELY: [VID] http://bit.ly/80BeBv (via @maryag) #
• ha @CTK1 I wanna have 3 lunches w/@TimBrownson (and drive him bananas w/my writing procrastination) http://blog.3lunches.com/about @3Lunches #
• @frank95054 @maryag I think CatsWillRule on Youtube is @HannahChapman. She needs to go to Tokyo and get a record deal! in reply to frank95054 #
• If u want REAL male eye candy @CTK1 @jlkoctober, go2 gay clubs like Splash (NYC) + oggle the go go dancers. They only wear tighty-whiteys #
• ah, but remember the hawt cuban boy I hooked up with at gay-club Splash back in June, @CTK1? He was more Bruce Lee than AHH-nold. #
• In Japan, they have an obsession with "Nightmare Before Christmas" @mfeige. And, am I only one who has crush on JACK, The Pumpkin King? #
• #McSpanky just drunk dialed me. Said he was gonna spank me w/belt, eat me out…until his friend pulled him back inside for more shots #
• #McSpanky: "I'm taking off all ur clothes+spanking u." Me: "I see no pt. in being naked while being spanked." Him: "The pt. is: I said so" #
• #McSpanky: "Stop being a brat, little girl." Me: "I'm just making helpful suggestions." Him: "Next helpful suggest = 4 smacks of paddle." #
• 1st time #McSpanky played w/me at spanking party (MSA in Aug.), he made me take off almost all my schoolgirl outfit @lemonyhead #
• even now, #McSpanky spanks me almost every day b4 work, and he has me naked over his lap @lemonyhead. I think he just likes to make me blush #
• @lemonyhead WTF? Your bro is an extremely toxic person. I hope u don't take anything he says seriously. in reply to lemonyhead #
• The Catholic in me says, "yes, very true." RT @booksbelow RT @DavidBTwit: Atheism is a non-prophet organization #
• @lemonyhead when I'm bored and need play ASAP, I put out a Craigslist thing. And – I've only had good experiences in reply to lemonyhead #
• @lemonyhead may I introduce @CTK1? Besides being exceptionally HAWT (why oh why is that fine ass in LA?!) she's amazing to follow on Twitter in reply to lemonyhead #
• @CTK1 may I introduce @lemonyhead? She is one of my spanko-phile friends in NYC, and has spanking blog. Cool kid to shoot breeze with… #
• @lemonyhead or u can sprinkle glitter all over him. Even gazillion showers can't get everything out for at least a few days @sandy_radbabe #
• I'm never using boring dictionary.com again – http://wordnik.com pulls in flickr images, twitter mentions +more dynamic definitions of words #
• @KrisColvin why are the churches closed 2morrow? I'm assuming u mean churches around kansas city (kc)? in reply to KrisColvin #
• more drunk-dialing from a super drunkity-drunk #McSpanky. This is FUN! (esp. hearing him describe how we're a-gonna knock boots) #
• Usually he's stoic gentleman. But vodka shots = #McSpanky sends me swoon-worthy voicemail: "I love the hell outta u. Ur DAMN good woman" #
• @nyyang ????! in reply to nyyang #

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• Being alone= #McSpanky sends me gifts+love notes, while I get to eat food he's forbidden me to eat+masturbate w/out permission. Guuud times! #
• #McSpanky almost bought me tickets 2go w/him 2 Midwest, but meeting his family for 1st time during X-Mas = way too stressful, @lemonyhead #
• If you love musicals, Burt Reynold's mustache + Dolly Parton's boobs @lemonyhead – watch Best Little Whorehouse in Texas #
• Q:Favorite thing about #McSpanky? And m… A:When we lay in bed in the morning, he… http://formspring.me/avatarkoo/q/6545754 #formspringme #
• @Mr_Nicholas ooh, I bet Ann Margaret would be awesome as Miss Mona in Best Little Whorehouse…! How did she do with Texas accent tho? in reply to Mr_Nicholas #
• now going through #McSpanky's collection of retro early 80's porn. He just has them for kitsch value. Me, I actually wanna watch… #
• Watching "Taboo – American Style: Part 1 The Ruthless Beginning" by "award winning" director Henri Pachard http://bit.ly/8×6Vfr #1980sporn #
• It's slightly depressing to see a pic of me + #McSpanky together. Because he's so much prettier than I am. #
• watching one of my fave films, "Nightmare Before Christmas" b/c I feel rather goth right now. (And ok ok, I'm tired of watching porn, too) #

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• Why r peeps worried abt me spending X-mas alone? I'm having Zombie Yule (via @havi: http://bit.ly/7Yic6w)+avoid all the usual holiday stress #
• Wow. My sinuses r filled with blood. I'm spitting it up. I feel like I should be in Verdei's "La Traviata" or something. #
• @LittleTrouble well, I just let myself bleed out then clot up. Is that a wee bit nasty? in reply to LittleTrouble #
• @Bodhipaksa well, here I go to real some Gail Collins. I'm a sucker for interesting Op-Ed colums…. in reply to Bodhipaksa #
• @revertstar that video ruins goddess-image I have of Debbie Harry. Why can't she stay like this: "Sound Asleep" (1979) http://bit.ly/8vq582 in reply to revertstar #
• @CorsetNCardigan wow, u r constantly cooking – domestic goddess indeed! in reply to CorsetNCardigan #
• "The Best LIttle Whore House in Texas" is one of my fave movies @grownbybasille! And – coincidentally, I'm watching it 2nite, as well. #
• @nikolasco happy early b-day. U were born on same day as the Big Jeezy… in reply to nikolasco #
• gotta love movie that has "best" + "whore" in title AND Dolly Parton looking/singing like this @kwanzer: [VID] http://bit.ly/4ycDFs #
• I stole "Big Jeezy" from some wigger @calamusroot. #
• Debbie Harry digs songs about rainbows, @revertstar. And duets with Kermit the Frog: [VID] http://bit.ly/5sihSM #
• #McSpanky called, wishes I was in Detroit w/him. But I'm happy alone, snuggled in bed w/heating pad, watching "Best Little Whore in Texas" #

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• Vodka enema would kill 3 birds w/1 stone @writingdirty: cleanse, inebriate, kink out. It would also chap da ass+kill ya but who am I 2judge? #
• #McSpanky is prob. traumatized by my telephonic emotional rollercoaster @mfeige. He may be curled in small ball, whispering, "make it STOP!" #
• this is why opium dens are necessary @lemonyhead – to save the waistlines + chapped cooches of cuh-RAZY chickens! #
• @mfeige thnks, hon! I guess we're both total queens…funny how so many queens congregate together (yes u belong in this group, too @CTK1!) in reply to mfeige #
• Video = DISTURBING RT @cunningminx @Mollena: #FetLifers will b pleased 2know @JohnBaku is now scarred 4life by http://www.santasm.net/ #
• Today, I received X-mas stocking stuffed w/chocolate truffles, tobacco + sleek new pipe. Present from the long-suffering #McSpanky. #
• wat Santa #McSpanky sent this naughty girl: [PIC] http://bit.ly/5f3fyV #
• Ah, I sure appreciate men who appreciate my tobacco habit @lemonyhead. Now I have 2 pipes: new one from #McSpanky + one #MrWords gave me #
• @CTK1 Dos Equis stud is most interesting man in world? #McSpanky needs to upgrade his game and learn to part the Red Sea by my bday in reply to CTK1 #
• @ibosmiley I actually smoke pipes more often than cigars. Remember? I even @ u about it: http://bit.ly/7dr3q0 in reply to ibosmiley #
• Q:What is a kink/fetish you're interest… A:Oh, there are LOTS! But collaring (bo… http://formspring.me/avatarkoo/q/4143445 #formspringme #
• @kwanzer that's how u kno u're in right profession: work = play in reply to kwanzer #
• ur sub boy shit himself @wendyblackheart? After u glued his balls 2his dick+made him drink lotsa water? Did u spike his H20? I'm confused… #

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• After seeing 2many stray cats on S.I., I'm donating The Toby Project http://bit.ly/6mUJbe (free fixin' for all NYC pets) #
• Is it just me, or r the comments the best part of any online article/blog post? I think I read HuffPo more for comments than news… #
• Having arguments over the phone is always a bad idea. So why do I do it? #
• I direct people interested in electronic music to @BleepBot. Now they have "Best of Bleep 2009" lists out: http://bit.ly/56UzxD #
• Oh, and if ANY taste in electro music (yea, yea I'm poseur, bite me), d/l wickedness of Gestamstkunstwerk via @BleepBot http://bit.ly/4XyDoL #
• The execs at my workplace are throwing a football around the floor. All we need are 3 boxes of pizza, and we'd have frat house #
• Exec (throwing me football"): "don't b afraid to grab my ball!" Me (as ball falls to ground): "oh dear." #
• I just read on @popbitchnews about "slimming": girls insert vodka-soaked tampons in the va-jayjay to get the buzz w/out calories. COOCH BURN #
• @Bodhipaksa any particular newspaper that you enjoy? and why? in reply to Bodhipaksa #
• Just finished dramatic 2 hr phone convo w/#McSpanky. Started w/passionate arguing. Finished w/passionate sex talk. #
• Arguing over phone = more exhausting than running 5K in Majave Desert, without water + hat @paulkim511 #

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