• Woke up this morning and decided to cut me some bangs. At 8am. Still half in lala land. Now i look weird. #
• I don't look like a human being when i have short, blunt bangs.. More like a wax madame toussard figurine. Of an alien. #
• Jesus! If i were smarter, i would have cut my bangs longer so i could hide the massive pimple on my forehead. But now? Pimple is highlighted #
• Omg #HottieMcSpanky is gonna barf when he sees me! I'm lumpy in body, pimply and alien-y looking *freaking out* #
• Hmm – the married Brit who thumbed me a few weeks back? He just emailed me. Innocuous, "checking up on u" emails. Hrmmm. #
• The Brit prob. heard from his executive friend abt work party 2nite. i wonder if the two r scheming to get me naked somehow #
• Fuck it. I feel very un-cute but at least i didn't see fanny pack stalker today. If i scared him away w/un-cuteness, it was all worth it. #
• My bangs look like Um Jung Hwa's bangs http://bit.ly/qZf7H. But she's celebrity – always looks great. I'm dyin' here! #
• Oh, my british followers! Bangs = fringe. Sorry for any confusion (thnx @KeepWerking) #
• Omg omg. Pic of HAWT Korean guy. *fanning myself* http://bit.ly/DR7EP #
• Hey pimple on my forehead – why don't u hurry up and get juicy so i can pop u. #
• The universe is totally punking me now – my period is early. And I planned on jumping #HottieMcSpanky 2morrow #
• Let's recap this symphony of FAIL: 1. I gain enuff weight in 2 weeks to go from size S to size M. can barely fit in my outfit 4 tomorrow #
• 2. I get huge muthafuckin pimple n my forehead. It looks like mini Mt. Vesuvius. And – it won't pop. #
• 3. Within 5 min of waking up this morning, i grab scissors and cut impromptu bangs/fringe. They are short, uneven. I look like evil alien #
• 4. My period comes almost 1 WEEK early. the day b4 the spanking party. Any horizontal polka seems off my itinerary at this point #
• Muthafuckit. I'm gettin Mr. Softie ice cream, burger, tube of Clearasil+hair gel. NOTHIN is standing in way of having fun w/ #HottieMcSpanky #
• Yo @CorsetNCardigan just gave me GREAT TIP on how to have ur period +still do the (unmessy) horizontal polka. WIN! #
• Oh fuck me. Severe thunderstorm watch in NYC. Hail, 58+mph winds and one of biggest phobias: TORNADOES. (clowns + tornadoes = hell on earth) #
• Oh fuck me more. Just learned about "downbursts" which r like invisible tornadoes that leave destruction trail like a nuclear bomb #
• Things r looking up more – the early period? It stopped, cleared up. Totally fab but how the hell did that happen?! #
• My work party is being held at a drag queen cabaret. WIN. #
• Japanese coworker has a pussy balloon on his head. I love me coworkers. #
• Other coworkers have balloon cocks on their head. And we're not even drunk yet. #
• Coworkers now baloon fucking. Japanese are so fucking awesome #
• Now they're having balloon orgy. Muhaahhhahah! #
• I just balloon orgy too #
• M. san has 2 dicks on his head. He loves it. #
• Japanese coworker getting molested by transsexual on stage. She is trying to take off his pants #
• Wow i have incriminating balloon pics. Coworkers will prob put up on facebook. Hahahah! #
• I'm such an attention whore! I am posing with balloon dicks for strangers. #
• Yea i'm poppin my coochie and ladylumps. #
• Damn all i drink is fucking whiskey. Shots, on the rocks…I just love whiskey #
• Asian club hoppin. Hell fuckin yea. With a group of hot chinese chicks. #
• At hiro #

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• The fanny pack stalker? He followed me again. I didn't notice until i saw his reflection walking right behind me on bldg window. #
• Fanny pack stalker followed me into my office bldg, and left before we hit security check. I'm srsly creeped out now #
• If not 4 spanking party, I'd go. I <3 bands that list Joy Division+Smiths as influences: The Drums http://bit.ly/zN4L4 play FREE this Sat. #
• Woa, i'm totally ovulating. My boobs feel really bouncy. #
• Damn work firewall! I wanna watch http://spankingtube.com. For edu-macational purposes. No, not to wank off. Never! Outrageous! #
• This blog post by @sethgodin excites me: http://bit.ly/dWE3n. I'm huge fan of micro-loans and funds to encourage 3rdworld economy. #
• Some exec at work IM-ed me if I'm goin 2 corporate party 2morrow nite. He likes that I smoke cigars+drink whiskey+wear revealing clothes #
• An IT guy asked if I wanted to build a server – so I did. It was fun! Small hands = nimble at handling phallic-esque tech objects. #
• Depressed. Barely fit into size M american apparel pleated skirt. My cheerleader outfit from 2weeks ago was S. How much weight did i gain? #
• Instead of looking schoolgirl, my white shirt and pleated skirt look super professional. Wtf? #
• Oh well. At least i can wear spanking outfit to dinner beforehand. And then to work on monday. Biggest bang for my buck! #
• Yea. Not crazy bout carrots. I don't hate them, like SHITtake mushrooms. But carrots r so…eh. I even prefer brussel sprouts to carrots #
• I wish I had someone to help exfoliate my body @nikolasco. But for now – the task falls on my own lonely yet very thorough hands… #
• after being sent to mandatory sexual harassment training @Luvzlife – I better stay away from typing "spanking" anywhere on work computer #
• I am a peely-wally who likes to haver! I love the site @@goodnighthorse sent me: http://www.squidoo.com/scottishwords #
• yup, I got the outfit @romanticrope. Only soup from now 'til Saturday evening. And – I gotta practice sucking my tummy in. Erf. #
• Romance novels r damn important to society…interview w/clip of @SarahFrantz (on Australian TV) http://bit.ly/2C9598 #
• Bill Maher is asshole @CTK1. 2bad I agree w/his politics. But I'd schtup @stephenathome (Stephen Colbert)<- my #2 crush after A. Bourdain #
• Secretary is the movie that got me all interested in bottoming @CorsetNCardigan. It's like a gateway movie into BDSM for vanilla-ish girls #

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• I love hanging out with smart fierce chicks. We argued philosophy and evolving ethical issues regarding technology. #
• Well, they argued philosophy. I just added abt how my cousin and i almost stopped talkin over arguement abt why hip hop boys wear pants low #
• Hearing my friend jonna talk abt beng new mom – no way i'm ready to stop being self-absorbed enuff to have a kid. #
• So many cute Asian girls in Union Sq. I wanna flirt but i can tell they r str8. Really wanna kiss girl right now. #
• Singing "wat is love" loudly on street cause that's wat drunk bitches do. "wat is love…Baby don't hurt me…Don't hurt me…No more…" #
• Watching girl in cinderella gown make out on w/some amigo on 3rd ave downtown. #
• Homeless man sleeping on stoop. Has no shoes but his soles are smooth, rosy. Rats scamper around him like lilliputians #
• RT @Mollena @pudgym29 @KanojoToys Free Japanese Sex Toys Via Twitter! Here’s the deal http://bit.ly/ANONf #
• amusing self by figuring out which Japanese Real Love Doll Ange sex doll from @KanojoToys I most resemble. I think Rie: http://bit.ly/2utT2h #
• I rarely love entire fashion collection, but Fall 2009 from Sariah: http://bit.ly/34RYGu Every piece is TOTALLY me (via @dailycandy) #
• And yes, I may lust after Sariah clothes b/c the dresses are…shirt-length. I just adore short-as-fuck hemlengths. http://bit.ly/34RYGu #
• Now unofficial chairwoman of a friend's bachelorette party (she's getting married in Oct.) Can't believe she was gonna skip it. Crazy talk #
• Gonna contact Hustler's. Yes, the gentlemen's club. Trust me, champagne room w/female strippers = ultimate str8-vanilla bachelorette party #
• Ooh – all the bachelorette party guests must also dress like strippers! Or else i'll kick 'em out 'til they're properly unattired. #
• So tired. Will prob. fall asleep during brazilian bikini wax later 2day. #
• After getting brazilian wax, the stingy throb between my legs is wicked. It's like my pussy is smokin speed…then opium. #
• so @goodnighthorse suggests that asking #HottieMcSpanky to "Gie yer arse laldy!" will get me gold-star treatment. (wat does it mean?) #
• yes @siniful, short skirts r da bomb diggety fo sho fo sho. (Actually, at the last CV, @saraeileen checked to see if I was wearing pants!) #
• sister just sent me a "I worry abt ur health" email. She claims my love of butter, bacon, red meat = road to premature death. Wat? Nonsence #
• Tip: don't lecture anyone over age 18 about their dietary choices. You just sound like a pedantic asshat. And asshats collect shit. #
• RT @KinkForAll ? @KFABos: Confirmed! See you at UMass Boston, Sep 12 at 10AM: http://tr.im/kfabos (yoo hoo @wilhelminawang!) #
• drunk tweeting is highly encouraged @KrisColvin! Drunk twitpics are fun too. (Good thing I don't have iPhone. Boob pic would be everywhere) #
• RT @MiaOnTop Find out about how I lost my virginity to a man at 26, after many years of lesbian sex. (Nerve.com article) http://bit.ly/oTp3p #
• cute young Korean sub boy I've been talking to on #FetLife is moving to NYC. @viviane212 @siniful – yipee! another Asian kinkster is coming! #
• RT @andysowards RT @bkmacdaddy New blog series: How To Build Your Online Presence On The Cheap – http://bit.ly/DW9WY #
• just exfoliated the hell outta my buttocks. And slathered some alpha hydroxy acid over 'em too. Want my ass 2b baby soft for spanking party #
• I guess I should be trying to "toughen" my ass cheeks so I can take more spank action. But I'm too vain+girly-girl – I want my ass 2b smooth #
• muttering to myself: "it puts the lotion on it's skin…it puts the lotion on it's skin…" #
• me tease @saynine? never! I just want my derriere to feel like a plush, "dollop-of-cool-whip-lookin'" cloud. *kitten eyes* #
• who knew that my sudden spanking obsession would lead to an improved body skin regimen @CorsetNCardigan?! I wanna sparkle from head2toe… #

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• When I voiced concern of being manhandled at spanking party #HottieMcSpanky said "it won't happen. But don't worry. I'll be there." *swoon* #
• Didn't want #HottieMcSpanky to read my gushing tweets and figure out I'm a total dork. So, I took it off my #FetLife profile. I'm so lame! #
• It may be too late. #HottieMcSpanky may have already read my tweets for all I know. Did I mention that I've gots no game? #
• towards the end of 1hr walk home, my started to get all little girl on #HottieMcSpanky. Ugh, can I re-iterate again that I'm a DORK?! #
• I should disclose to #HottieMcSpanky that I trip over my own feet everyday and need sippy cup to not spill water on myself @CorsetNCardigan #
• RT @Mollena http://tinyurl.com/peolfx Kim Dae-jung, the former president of South Korea, has died at the age of 83 #
• Male coworkers put chocolate over my head where i could't reach til I finally spilled abt #HottieMcSpanky. I am weak. #
• Coworkers: "yo, u have NO GAME!" Me: "tell me something i don't kno (assholes)" #
• Another co-worker "remember, i kno peeps who kno peeps. #HottieMcSpanky makes u cry, he'll get a visit." Me: "er…" #
• Finnish gay x-bf dresses in drag – but is my frenemy Gina dragging him down? Part 3 of "A Gay Love Story": [BLOG POST] http://bit.ly/DfrQ3 #
• At Angel Share near st. Marks. Love goin2 hard-to-locate bars. Plus, mixed drinks must b perfect orelse they toss it. Japanese perfectionism #
• At Angel Share w/2 friends – new mom Jonna and lawyer/bartender Sheila #

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• so excited about going to an invite-only spanking party this weekend – I've already started ruminating about what I'll wear #
• When a hurricane is named Bill – it's hard to take it srsly. #
• at spanking parties, is it bad form to be so turned on that my panties have wet spot? B/c the men who have me over their knee will see it #
• I'm just preparing for this saturday's spanking party. My first foray into real spanking. (obviously, i'm not excited about it at all) #
• On my way to summer CV. I can smell the river in the hot sticky air. Ooh i feel alive #
• #HottieMcSpanky walked me from union sq to my apt. More than 1hr walk. Total gentleman *swoon* #
• I'm a-gonna do cute, little panties for spanking party. Wet spot FTW! @siniful @AliceSinAerie @SarahFrantz @stacycat @writingdirty #

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• Every1 – go see Park Chan Woo’s “thirst.” best film i’ve seen all year, fangs down. WOW. i have am speechless. #
• After watching “thirst” i now think those long black priest robes are HAWT. I’m sure my Catholic mom would freak out if she heard this #
• Korean movie then korean bbq – for 2 korean girls. Wish my cell had hangul so I can tweet in Korean all nite. #
• I definitely prefer Kirin to OB beer. Japanese beer has a smoother taste than Korean beer. Ew. I sound like a metrosexual frat boy. #
• no, I haven’t seen “Oldboy” @docstrange but been meaning to for years now. I minored in Korean studies/film in college, so I ? Korean films #
• ugh. A skeleton from my closet found me on Facebook. My sexual past is always knocking on my present-day door. I need to become Buddhist nun #
• ha, my cuz just txt me that she had the most amazing, perfect poop. Maybe I’m juvenile, but it amuses me to hear these things. #
• I txt her back, “did an anaconda come out?” And she txt back, “of course.” Korean food is perfect for digestion. #
• afraid to take my casper white skin into 90degree weather and strong sun. I may have to wait until after 4pm. #
• ur BC powder w/OJ tip worked FABULOUSLY (the nite I was thumbed by Brit) @Mollena. Every1 was massively hungover next morning except moi #
• Finished a huge meal that was 95% fat. So greasy, i don’t need to put on lipgloss to get a lustrous, shiny pout #
• Looking at asian boys with 6packs is such a chore. I mean, who wants too see smooth golden brown skin+rippling muscles on hot Chinese boys? #
• Hawt chinese boys who take off their shirt are perverted ANIMALS. It’s up to concerned citizens like me to uphold decency by punishing them #
• Oh fuck. Unattractive chinese boy just joined the handball game and ruined my fantasy. #
• Ok, hawt guys, pls don’t gross me out by hacking deep-seated loogies on the ground. Ur hawtness afford u lots of leeway. But not for phlegm #
• I am oddly blessed @CorsetNCardigan. I find shirtless boys or boys want to get shirtless for me. I prefer ‘em to keep their pants on tho… #
• it’s tough job watchin’ hawt boys w/out shirts @pantherapardus. u sure u want to take some of my shifts? It is a wretched, wretched job. #
• RT @revertstar Not everybody’s cup of tea, but my favorite song today: ? http://bit.ly/10UNC8 [I ? anything Electroclash-y!] #
• it’s so fun having boys keep their pants on @romanticrope…and looking at crotch tents. *innocent eyes* #
• I also like lagers @romanticrope, so now I need to try ur rec for Czechvar! Lookie – a review of the beer on YouTube: http://bit.ly/12oHQS #
• ah @romanticrope! Bohemian Hall & Beer Garden in Astoria has Czechvar on tap: http://bit.ly/dvcr5. Field trip! #
• those who like girly-girl stationary (like me!) – this card line from the UK is ?? ???! I was just gifted this one: http://bit.ly/D3GpR #
• a young woman smokin a tobacco pipe = nods of approval from older chinatown folk. Little girls r staring at me. #
• I feel totally in my element. Smokin pipe. Wearin skimpy American Apparel dress. Listenin 2 gangsta rap on iPod. Txtin/tweetin furiously #
• All the men r leavin me alone. Staring but more at my pipe (i hope). Black boys givin me the chin nod. #
• Yo, guess who i’m talkin to? The guy in chinatown who dresses like the statue of liberty! He’s a Moroccan guy. #
• I’m on my 2nd bowl of tobacco. The nicotine buzz is ridonkulously wicked. #
• Buddhist monk just walked by. Longing to be a Buddhist nun just hit me right in my heart… Lady Gaga just came on my iPod. #
• White hipster boys who can’t skateboard now coming through. But they’re in wifebeaters and look rather yummy. Which makes them less lame. #
• I don’t pace myself. Alcohol, tobacco, even sex. Nicotine buzz is making my hands shake. I should learn my limits and STOP. #
• RT @KrisColvin Husbands can withhold food 4 no nooky RT @imrananwar #Afghanistan passes ‘food for sex’ law http://bit.ly/CI0wC #Shia #Islam #
• I fucking love to smoke that tobacco pipe @wilhelminawang …goddamn *wipes away tear o’joy* #
• well, Ms. @CTK1 – u kno how much I like u2. Enough to send u pics of my boobies. Come to NYC soon so I can show them 2u in person #
• have u seen this pic of Anthony Bourdain @cowhateration: http://bit.ly/bIMdv. Now THAT’s a man… #
• RT @saynine Rumi read by Coleman Barks http://tr.im/ww2I [wish I culd read original Persian. Rumi's poems r like seashells: simple, perfect] #
• kimchee-flavored cotton candy @jeffersonreid @ibenjaminbarnes? Me and my peeps support u 100% in this endeavor! #
• 2bad u’re halfway around the world @DooneyStudio. I’d model for you. The resulting art is worth the exploitation: http://tinyurl.com/cc8gtc #
• r u also a fan of Kahlil Gibran @saynine? My fave chapter from “The Prophet” http://bit.ly/2UimDz #
• my Korean peeps – @yayadorodoro tweets predominantly in ???! Now I need to brush up on my Korean spelling so I don’t embarrass myself #
• dog lover in me is horrified that Michael Vick will release acoustic cover of “Who Let the Dogs Out” @MBtheREMIX. But – damn, that’s funny! #
• LOL @MBtheREMIX! You had me going there for a sec. And wondering about Michael Vick’s life choices (again) #
• Being around gangsta-ish Korean-American boys – they all had pit bulls. We’d go to Baltimore and buy puppies from drug dealers. #
• I have a real soft spot for pit bulls – they have the sweetest temperament. If u don’t train them to be vicious muthafuckers. #
• One time, some friend’s pit bulls got into a vicious dog fight right next to me. Blood+everything. They were rewarded with food. Men r weird #

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• orgasm #1-of-the-nite. very satisfying ???! #
• orgasms are like turkey sandwiches – they make me really sleepy. #
• …but not so sleepy to miss orgasm #2-of-the-nite. alright, now I'm fully ready for bed. #
• I would totally cyber sex w/u @wilhelminawang – but I'm ready to zonk out. I'm gonna look for my webcam+we'll do it properly nxt time! #
• Yes, i'm drinking a pomegranate margharita at 3pm. And i'll prob have a few more. Fuck it, i'm korean and it's saturday and it's hot outside #
• So hilarious! Clip from Korean comedy film – involves…whipping? I wanna be the last girl…http://bit.ly/E6uKi (via #fetlife) #

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• No matter my mood – puppies and little dogs always make it better. I should just carry one in my bag 24/7 #
• Boss gave me fatherly lecture: "don't dumb urself down. U're 2smart 2 use words like 'squishy'." #
• From now on, i will replace "stupid/dumb" with "squishy." Ex: "Fox News is squishy" #
• During times of emotional distress – i stay in office+do mindless excel spreadsheet formulations. And look around at my japanese coworkers #
• Only asian people stay late at work on fridays. But the Japs r actually working. Me, i'm trying not to burst into tears. Big difference #
• fox news is more than just squishy @siniful. It's ripe to pop. Like a big mutha pimple #
• maybe I should say "squish" at work everyday now @AliceSinAerie. "Oh, SQUISH!" instead of "Oh, fuck!" #
• RT @ShellyKramer RT @FreddyGipson: RT @RiverKanoff: Don't ask me how, but I just burnt my penis with battery acid #
• RT @writingdirty Making love to me will now be called "riding the Jack Express to O town." [I've witnessed 1st hand - it's true] #
• I believe in wearing skirts+dresses on dates @CTK1. And just skirts+dresses in general. #
• go sexy @CTK1, but at a level 7.5. You don't want to blow wad too soon. Save the "10" for date 3 @KellyG5 @sissysusieq @Lynnster23 @mfeige #
• RT @maryag My other favorite group – ? Yell – Ikimonogakari [VIDEO] http://bit.ly/4GALm [now I miss Japan *sigh*] #
• Went to Ichizen (tiny fishing village in south Japan) for Obon Festival http://bit.ly/16RPQ8. Countryside is beautiful – bamboo forests #
• cell phone vid I took of myself, going to Echizen, Japan for Obon festival in Aug. 2006. Ack! My babyfat! [VIDEO] http://bit.ly/Y96Xx #
• more cell phone video I took back in 2006. I'm in pigtails in my "take off shoes" area of my Tokyo apt: [VIDEO] http://bit.ly/wNbOU #
• yet more cell phone video from 2006, when I lived in Tokyo. I'm in a fancy restaurant. I sent this vid to my x-lover http://bit.ly/18wgbT #
• be happy u're spinster right now @CorsetNCardigan! I am happiest when living like a Buddhist nun. #
• In 2006 in Japan, I could send ketai (cellphone) vid. Never sent txt. Just vid messages. Yes, incl. boob footage. American cell phones suck #
• RT @KrisColvin 10 levels of intimacy in today's communication: http://tumblr.com/xdg2p6fp4 [wow, I'm at the low levels] #
• omfg @Babecakes, I had massive foodgasm looking at ur bacon-steak dinner: http://twitpic.com/dxo17. Resisting licking laptop screen… #
• Wish I understood Italian. Listening to one of my fave songs: "Tu Soltanto Tu" – Al Bano & Romina Power ? http://bit.ly/24EAiy #
• ok – after consulting with @writingdirty and @romanticrope, I decided to stop being prissy girl and sent email to #HottieMcSpanky #
• The worst that can happen? He says, "don't want to spank u, sorry." #HottieMcSpanky #
• Best that can happen? #HottieMcSpanky says, "hell yea, I'll spank you…and more…" <– god, please let this happen!! #
• if #HottieMcSpanky only knew wat a dork I am @CorsetNCardigan! I'm refreshing my gmail every minute. It's kinda fun regressing to age 14 #
• watch @CorsetNCardigan, #HottieMcSpanky is prob. on Twitter, thinking I'm a total dork. Which I am. I've gots no game! Ack! #
• omg @wilhelminawang – I'm intensely horny too! We're both intensely horny at the same time! Wat r the odds?! #
• you need HAWT, new dick @wilhelminawang. May I suggest going to a gay club? Always works for me! #
• tonite is PERFCT nite for me to wear my cheerleader outfit @CorsetNCardigan. But – no audience. Oh squish. #
• oh, and I'm gonna get a schoolgirl outfit too @CorsetNCardigan. Can we say, "yes, Mr. Principal, I'll do anything for extra credit." #
• it's so awesome, tweeting about horiness on a Friday nite @wilhelminawang – all the per-y guys are out! No sleazy @ ! Let's be animals! #
• damn @wilhelminawang – if I didn't misplace my iSight (I have old iBook), I'd totally suggest we have some webcam sex. Right now. #
• I think @writingdirty should also hold a Principal/schoolgirl party, don't you @CorsetNCardigan? #
• group gathering/parties are not my forte @Mollena. I'd rather have 1-on-1 intense-as-hell convo with someone. #
• sometimes @DannyBrown, dissing ur competitors is part of the brand. Can't imagine hip hop w/out beef. Product+diss become ONE #dbpost #
• I guess we'll just have to have online sex over IM @wilhelminawang #

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• my #KFANYC2 talk about "Yellow Fever: Being Asian Women in the West": [BLOG POST] http://bit.ly/SWoGm #
• I used 2b medium-fluent in French @firstchoicemes. Also read "Le Petit Prince" (my fave book). Now, 12 yrs later, barely remember a thing #
• RT @presentationzen "We eat but don't taste, we listen but don't hear, we ? but don't feel. We spend lives lost in our heads"- John D. Loori #
• I'm a huge Murakami fan @jlnoblezada. I minored in Asian studies in college, and Japanese literature/film was one of my fave sections #
• I'm also huge fan of Yasutaka Tsutsui. "Salmonella Men on Planet Porno: Stories" totally blew my brains to smithereens: http://bit.ly/B6Yj6 #
• RT @writingdirty http://twitpic.com/dp8ks – From #KFANYC2 @CorsetNCardigan aka my pen holder [DAYUM! TITTIES!] #
• RT @writingdirty http://twitpic.com/dp8n1 From #KFANYC2 @AvatarKoo forgot her pants but is still badass [fuck,didn't kno it was THAT short!] #
• this is the ultimate pie chart @kwanzer: http://bit.ly/Vhzrx (via @pierresmack) #
• Sexual harassment training starts in 45min. Male coworkers are defiant – they're punching each other, saying "i'm uncomfy w/u touching me." #
• We're watching video called "differences" in sex. harassment class. The video features dogs. DOGS! #
• Now we're watching "harssment hurts: it's personal." it has house music as soundtrack. #
• Next video : "let's get honest." it wants to help u figure out "how do u keep sex out of work?" #
• Use the "grandma filter" to avoid sexual harassment: if u won't say or do it in front of grandma, don't do it. #
• Oh shit. I may have taken part in creating "hostile work environment." Guys at work don't need to see my legs or hear me say, "fuck." #
• With @lisabattio and other lovely ladies. Talking about male strippers at hunk o mania. #
• I think i just recruited a new (asian female) friend to come to spanking parties with me. Wheeee! #
• I love looking at my #secretgarden at night. There is romance in every flower petal, every wriggling earthworm #
• yea @siniful, my coworkers in sex. harassment class were like, "but my grandma is an ANIMAL! she uses the word 'whore' constantly!" #
• ur perv-y grandma sounds AWESOME @AliceSinAerie. My grandmas just like to drink soju and go to karaoke. Hmm, kinda like me. #
• actually @siniful, I like me in a severe black bob w/bangs. But Finnish gay x-bf told me, "if u cut ur hair, my heart will break." *sigh* #
• I wish I had perma-tan @siniful! I'm casper white in winter….freckled turnip in summer. #
• Ah, Erasure…one of my fave groups from my youth @writingdirty. There must be some law of universe: if u're Asian or gay, u like Erasure #
• RT @Mollena RT @weirdnews 50 Amazing Ramen Noodle Recipes http://is.gd/2fTmq [I can/have eat 3-packs of sapparo ichiban everyday. MSG FTW] #
• RT @MBtheREMIX I am being eye-f**ked by multiple women. Its like a gang bang but better #
• I once tweeted that modern civilization didn't truly begin until the invention of hairspray @Babecakes. I still stand by this demi-fact. #
• my gawd @revertstar, I need to play bingo with u at Ukrainian National Home – the crowd is totally my type! http://twitgoo.com/283r6 #
• I tweet in the loo too @AliceSinAerie! I also take calls, but only from peeps I ?. So, it's good sign if u call me+u hear the toilet flush #
• Asians r less uptight bout bodily functions. Ex" Japanese children's book – "The Gas We Pass: The Story of Farts" http://bit.ly/7xTNr #
• RT @bortflancrest Just working out with my buddies – http://bit.ly/2IasCF #
• since I put on my #fetlife profile that I like "webcam sex" – guys w/pics of dicks have been inundating my inbox. 2b expected but GROSS. #
• I wish I could add on #fetlife: "I only do webcam sex w/chicks and SELECT boys. If u're a guy msging me abt it – obv. u're not the select" #
• Wondering – should I take @writingdirty's advice and send flirty email 2 #HottieMcSpanky? (nickname courtesy of @CorsetnCardigan) #

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