• RT @KrisColvin @ToniaMBartz If I ever get married, my husband to be has to agree to something like this: http://bit.ly/mw4ha [????!] #

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• Feel teensy bit less despondant. Such is the power of a brazilian bikini wax at Shohba. #
• However, still filled with despair. Like, sob-quietly-on-couch despair. Not to be melodramatic. Or too melodramatic, at least. #
• Wat i really want is to eat massive amounts of italian desserts. But i already gained 5lbs in 3 days and that fuels additional DESPAIR #
• holy shit…these extremely NSFW paintings by @DooneyStudio are lascivious, slutty, and poignant. http://tinyurl.com/mo9dz3 #
• RT @writingdirty Best title ever: "The Proper Fingering is Essential When Attempting Bach's Preludes for the Unaccompanied Cello" [for PORN] #
• steamed vegetables r your comfort food @DooneyStudio? That's wat I eat to torture myself down into a size 4! #
• Swingin' to Avril Lavigne "Girlfriend" non-stop – the soundtrack to my "Gloria+Tae" story [VIDEO] ? http://blip.fm/~afzwm #
• Ready to light current draft of "Gloria+Tae" on fire and roast a fucking suckling pig. It draaaags. Argh! #
• Someone give me a pistol so I can blow my brains into modern wall art. "Gloria+Tae" needs a total revamping. Tonite – no sleep! >:( #
• Madonna's "Like a Virgin" for G.+T. story. 'Cause Gloria wants to be touched for very 1st time [VIDEO] ? http://blip.fm/~ag3ox #
• Can I get an AMEN? Story of me and The Brit: Pussy Cat Dolls "Buttons" [VIDEO] ? http://blip.fm/~ag4np #
• FUCK! I want the Pussycat Dolls outfit: black cropped top, black mini, black knee-high stiletto boots. #
• my backup plan if writing thing doesn't work out: spend all day at gym, get a smokin' hot body & nab a rich, gawgeousl Argentine husband #
• RT @CorsetNCardigan: i dont remember a verse in "Buttons" about the return of laundered panties…maybe in the remix possibly? #
• ? I'm tellin' u 2 loosen up my buttons babe / but u keep frontin' / say wat u gonna do 2 me / but I ain't seen nothin ? @CorsetNCardigan. #
• Lots of boys have promised to put it in my mouth, but few are man enuff to actually grab my hair and make it happen @CorsetNCardigan. #
• RT @bortflancrest I would give all my life-savings to sit in on this guys' court case. His speeches are all WIN! http://bit.ly/10RH7O #
• RT @LarisaBelliveau 27 Inspirational Horizontal Scrolling Websites http://bit.ly/Tl1f3 [awesome rule breakers - who woulda thunk?] #

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Argh. Why is it so hard to write 4 pgs a day?

I mean, it’s just 4 fucking pages. It’s not like I’m trying to whip together 20 pgs in one night. And yet, those goddamn 4 pages is as fun as waterboarding myself. It’s like making little papercuts inbetween my finger and toes, and dunking them in a fizzy hydrogen peroxide solution.

There’s a lot riding on my writing. We’re talking (uh huh) money. It’s not just about stroking my ego – it’s about paying my rent and student loans and maybe eating something other than $1 dumplings. And this is just…too real. It’s like meeting the perfect 10 girl and realizing that she has to take a shit like everyone else, too.

And it sucks, because I have to invest all this time and energy and faith in something that I don’t even know will pan out. It’s a risk, a gamble that is dispassionate. Unlike people, who can be manipulated – churning out a certain wordcount is a science. You can’t magically will an extra 1,000 words. You do it or you don’t.

I’m supposed to be done with the “Gloria + Tae” story. But I’m not. I feel like an utter failure.

So tonight I write like a fiend. If I have to stare at my screen yet again, I will. Fuck fuck fuck.

• Just received interoffice mail from The Brit. He sent me my panties. #
• Married men have logistical problems, hiding the knickers of other women. #
• The Brit is so…British+polite. He freshly laundered + folded my panties before returning them. #
• The Brit did email me that he had enjoyed my panties. Hmm. He shouldn't have washed 'em. #
• Wait. Just remembered – @writingdirty gets to cane me (again). With @gooselives as witness (again). Oh my… #
• Want to see movie "a woman in berlin." nazi chick having BDSM relationship with Commie officer – I already give it 2 thumbs up #
• Ok. Every hipster and their dog is lined up outside bowery ballroom. We'e talking 2 blocks of peeps in tight jeans + American Apparel. #
• I feel both peeved (that i don't know whose playin') and relieved (that i can't even stand in line with dem hipsters). #
• next time you have butt orgy @malene_chica, please take pictures. And we'll swap. 'Cause Asians should help each other out. #
• I would have preferred The Brit give my panties a good home @CorsetNCardigan. But – if he can't take care of 'em, I'll always take 'em back #
• Boys wearing girl panties? Hot! @malene_chica. #
• If The Brit says he enjoyed my panties, but they come back springtime fresh…then I don't really know HOW much he enjoyed 'em @KeepWerking #
• The Brit not only washed + folded my knickers – he wrapped them in tissue paper @swtgal_92 #
• my ass is (currently) saved from @writingdirty's caning, thanks to @gooselives work schedule *whew* #
• RT @writingdirty sometimes I think this whole caning thing is just an excuse for [@avatarkoo + @gooselives] to make out. Which is awesome #
• guess wat arrived in the mail today? My njoy anal plug http://bit.ly/hYADG. 100% stainless steel. Good god, it's heavy #
• I've definitely had bigger anal plugs in me, but the njoy is absolutely gorgeous. Like a Tiffany's silver rattler. #
• I want to wear this njoy anal plug as an everyday thing. But it's so heavy – will it slip out while I'm out+about? That would kinda blow. #
• RT @DooneyStudio 'Talent, stamina and discipline' that’s the way u develop as artist. A quote from Hugh Macleod. http://tinyurl.com/llal4s #
• my sis' bf, the Star Wars fanatic, feels The Force is strong in this one – Darth Vader meets MC Hammer [VIDEO]: http://bit.ly/AFafH #
• In 1991: Over 400 skeletons of African slaves found in downtown Manhattan. Now there is memorial. I wanna visit: http://bit.ly/TL4bL #

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• nothing but emptiness. inside and out. #
• I could take bus on Tuesday morning. Just go somewhere. Outside city. Far away. Do I have to come back? #

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• RT @viviane212 KinkForAll New York City 2 – August 8, 2009; 11:00 AM to 6:00 PM http://bit.ly/LAKQT [come see me present abt Asian fetish!] #
• going to @viviane212's apt. Was going to do pigtails, but felt it was too underage. This hairstyle is compromise: [PIC] http://bit.ly/SRXni #
• "I thought sperm just absorbs in ur vagina. Like face cream" – @wendyblackheart #
• Too much intelligent convo abt books at @viviane212's apt. #
• So i think @writingdirty should cane me again. With @gooselives. If i don't finish my 20pg story by monday (tomorrow) at midnite #
• I hate the pain but love the marks. And i like looking at @gooselives' bodacious body. #
• Discussed at @viviane212's party: wat sort of hairstyle to go with my sex outfits. #
• RT @CTK1: @brianspaeth hire a clown. plz. thx. [ack, CLOWNS! My mortal enemies! My deepest phobia! CLOWNS!] #
• RT @writingdirty @mashable Kurt Cobain Is Probably (Rick)Rolling in His Grave http://bit.ly/IrMWO [Couldn't listen to the end. Traumatizing] #

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• It's 4am. I woke up after 4hrs sleep so I can keep writing my smut. Lack of sleep = pissed off mood. #
• On less-pissed-off-news: bought a naughty, only-in-bedroom, BOMB DIGGETY! outfit last nite #
• showed it to my cuz, she said: "I hope u won't wear it out" and I said: "I'm not that fucking crazy" and she was like: "well, …" #
• my cuz also asked: "u gonna schtup the Brit?" and I said: "I may pull a Bill Clinton" and she said: "sounds lame. You should go all the way" #
• My family is so used to my antics, they've turned into total sex-enablers. Don't they know I'm saving myself for marriage? #
• RT @SabrinaMorgan so tempted to tell them I'm dating Asian guy that's hung like tree stump. SO. Tempted [i kno Asian boys like this >:) ] #
• I'm hormonal. So eating huge bahn mi + huge pho in 10min of each other is allowed. Encouraged even. #
• It finally happened. A pigeon fucking stole my dinner. #
• Pigeons can smell fear. And food. I was doomed. #
• these Chinatown pigeons don't fuck around @Mollena. They told me, "bitch, move out da WAY!" #
• birds are NOT ours friends @jeffersonreid. What did Alfred Hitchcock teach us (besides that an ugly fat dude can schtup Grace Kelly] #
• I feel certain obligation to tell the Brit I bought a French maid uniform. (Ok – I want to tease him): [PIC, not of me!] http://bit.ly/ITN4u #
• I want to get these "chobit" ears to go along with the maid outfit. http://bit.ly/wEAHC Do I have to order these from Asia? #
• being an asian girl, I have compulsion to make everything "cute" @jeffersonreid. Too much sexy = let's add ears! http://bit.ly/wEAHC #
• deliriously tired. Hormonal, like teenager. And oddly horny. So I'm watching hawt Korean boy dancing. [VIDEO] http://bit.ly/4AChNS #
• technically @Mollena, I have lots of accountabil-a-buddies. And still I procrastinate. Writing is like ice dancing – tougher than it looks #
• I'm a lightweight. Instead of writing, gonna take a nap. Cause eating and Twittering ain't procrastination enuff. No, I need 2b unconscious #
• Reading @penelopetrunk's "How to have more self-discipline" http://bit.ly/IE919. #
• PLAN: if the Brit emails back with/dinner invite by the time I wake up from nap – universe obviously wants me to schtup him. We shall see… #
• despite my mention of french maid outfit…the Brit sent me a neutral email response. Disappointed. No pussy for him! #
• RT @wendyblackheart zomg massage school drama. WHY IS THERE ALWAYS DRAMA? [so, is it like "Beat It" vid? With oil?] #

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• I'm 2,500 different ways of tired + drained. Life is a switchblade thug who slashed my throat. And I'm bleeding slowly to death… #
• People who love life must be shot, hung and quartered for the buzzards to devour. To say I’m in misanthropic mood is laughably gentle #
• I would like to be fisherman in aboriginal tribe. All i would need to think abt is catching fish. Self-actualization not necessary. #
• I'd give both my ovaries to be on a small yacht right now, traversing mediterranean. #
• Now the Brit is emailing me. At my gmail address. Could it be that he's looking to zoom zoom in my boom boom this weekend? *feigned shock* #
• I like being pursued by alpha males. But the lesbian side of me goes, "eeew. gross" #
• This now officially a pattern in my life: older European colleague from foreign office pursues me. Torrid sex ensues. Then, DRAMA. #
• If the Brit were smart, he'd buy me steak, order 2 bottles of red, and take me to cigar bar afterwards. My panties would be flying off. #
• I'm food motivated. Sue me. #
• going to St. Marks to eat izakaya-style Japanese food later tonite. White people – live a little and try skewered chicken strips, m’kay? #
• chicken SKIN strips. Ask the waitress at Oh! Taisho for "kawa, onegaishimasu" #
• I love Kirin. I could drink another pitcher with my friend. But – i'm too fucking full. #
• RT @CTK1 Special thnx 2 @AvatarKoo 4 being zany, daring, pushing the envelope, out of the box friend! #FF [I sent her new pics of my tits] #
• aww, I'm @goodnighthorse's "coreana del amor"! Sounds like the most awesome microbrew ever! #FF #
• oh @CTK1, @nikisnotes was wearing a tight-as-fuck dress that was also eco-friendly. Double hawt. #
• so flattered – @dannybrown put me on his #FF blog post as "'Umm… she’s unorthodox" (he's 2 polite 2 mention "thumbing") http://bit.ly/9IuPQ #
• RT @PRCog ewww RT @sarahkatharine: just saw woman let her dog pee into napkin in her hand on train. I mean..what do you even say? #newyork #
• RT @bortflancrest If you like chicken, then you should suck my cock. It's fowl. #pickupline #
• RT @DooneyStudio @3liza Wal-Mart bulldozing American Indian burial ground http://is.gd/1CBUe [Idiots! Have they watched "Poltergeist"?] #
• RT @presentationzen Wow Factor Added To Corporate Presentations http://snipurl.com/nfz7q [I've sat though many of these. Hell. On. EARTH] #
• RT @evilkalman RT @Remender: Artistic tendencies linked to 'schizophrenia gene' http://bit.ly/exRnF [crazy people r more fun to drunk w/too] #
• RT @unspeakableaxe I'm buying a bike and moving to Sweden! Holy fuck!! http://tinyurl.com/mhm5of #
• oh shit @CTK1, we should both send @nikisnotes our tit pics! Girls should share with each other… #
• Should be writing a sex scene for "Flower Boys + Cherry Girls." But so fucking mentally drained. *whine whine whine whine* Just wanna sleep #
• *sigh* I'll start writing in at 10:50pm. *frustrated!!! WANT TO SLEEP!* #
• is there a queue for boys who want me to spank 'em? A German+Japanese line, yes. Otherwise, no. You can start one, if u like @PRCog! #

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• wow @mollena's sugg. 2take BC power+orange juice b4 sleeping works. Feeling unusually good after nite of beer, sake, souju, macallan whiskey #
• what I learned last night: male co-workers are wanking off to my Facebook pic. Which is just my face. I must have slutty-looking mouth #
• so, gonna see the married british coworker who thumbed me in a few hours. He'll be all proper in his suit. I shall be…in a short dress. #
• Do promises made during extreme drunkeness count? I told him I'd give him another pair of panties this afternoon. #
• I may have also insinuated that there would be …fellatio… goin' on. #
• Oh, and I may have ALSO suggested I go to his hotel room later and get some… cunnilingus. #
• me + European men = ridiculously hot action in bed. It's been confirmed via thorough testing @wilhelminawang. #
• I may possibly still b drunk. Eeesh. Hope I don't reek of l'alcohol. #
• Hilarious. Sitting in the cubicle behind me is coworker who has my panties + thumbed me. #
• And yes, he's in his proper British suit. I'm in my highly improper short dress. Have sudden urge to sit on his lap now. #
• Brit is being taken to an Irish pub for lunch. He’s going back to London next week, so people are basically feeding him alcohol. Poor baby #
• Brit just asked me, in that Hugh Grant accent, if I felt hung over too. btw – men in glasses + slim cut mod-suits = ?? CRUSH?? #
• Keep thinking about how he's thumbed me, and how we licked that thumb together. Hmm. I may fancy a shag with the Brit #
• other male coworkers from last nite's alcoholic outing r IMing me. They r totally hung over. And I can still taste whiskey in my mouth #
• memory flashback! The Brit had me lift my skirt last nite after taking off my panties – he wanted 2 confirm I was indeed sans knickers #
• I hope the Brit had a fine time wanking off onto my panties. They’re really cute – white + pink w/ tiny rhinestones on the ass #
• Instead of throwing away panties – I should give them to a deserving man. I get space for new knickers. He gets wank material. Win win. #
• dyin' to read the satire "How I Became a Famous Novelist" by Steve Hely http://bit.ly/gRTvS (via MUG). Keep hearing it’s devastatingly funny #
• More alcohol has been forced on the Brit. He's a bright red now. But I still think he looks goddamn adorable. #
• Brit just stopped by for extended convo. I couldn’t help but flirt. Heavily. Yea, I know it’s at work but I couldn’t help myself. #
• I pointed out to the Brit all the cuts and bruises on my knees from tripping earlier. Did I mention my skirt barely covers my cooch? #
• The Brit gazed at me with intense eyes. Which made me giggle + blush. I hope he thought I was being cute vs. spaz-y #
• stoppin' by #masquertweet #12for12K for a bit tonite http://bit.ly/CpeWP. Can't wait to meet @PRCog + donate $ for childrens' eye health #
• oh, and I sent over some music for #masquertweet #12for12K (playlist at bottom: http://bit.ly/12nTyU) Happy to do my teeny part to help out! #
• My playlist is playing right now at #masquertweet #12for12k! And i'm drinkin'. Again. Eesh. #
• #masquertweet is already quite full. Time to bounce. Met the lovely @nikisnotes (prob fucked up spelling) and @PRCog #
• Just dribbled Mr. Softie vanilla cone allover inner thighs. While walking. U kno how klutzy+dorky i am to have such aim? #
• #masquertweet #12for12K the venue – awesome. the cheese spread – also awesome. The people – totally awesome! @DannyBrown @PRCog #
• woo hoo! @goodnighthorse has termed me an "eroto-environmentalist" for being "so dirty, yet so considerate" about my panties #
• RT @mysummerbeard "I have British thumbs." <– this is now code for "can we get it on?" #
• Me: "Do you have british thumbs?" #
• Girl/boy: "why yes, I have British thumbs." #
• …and then crazy, hawt quasi-illegal semi-sex happens. #
• RT @Mollena http://bit.ly/UjvTU When #Etsy goes wrong. Terribly, terribly wrong. [penis. hats. 'nuff said] #
• RT @TimBrownson: 5 of the best young bloggers on the net http://sn.im/nddt2 [but where are female bloggers on this list?] #
• wait @wilhelminawang wasn't I supposed to send u pics of my tits? @writingdirty's tweet about our boobage reminded me… #
• the nerds at #nerdnite were pleasant @sensible. I survived – and I have the video of my presentation to prove it: http://bit.ly/13q7SP #
• you had a butt-fuck orgy @malene_chica?? SHARE, WOMAN! #
• what a relief to finally masturbate. And I orgasmed (with a loud moan) just before roommate came back home. Great timing #
• Rockbilly + Patsy Cline = WIN. Imelda May does"Walkin' After Midnite": http://bit.ly/38hPI6 I totally wanna see her Aug 11 @ Mercury Lounge #
• just sent @CTK1 and @wilhelminawang new pics of my boobs. And panties. @gooselives – u r next (which I guess means @writingdirty gets it 2) #

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• Move over Vosges’ Bacon Bar – I just tasted heaven: Shiroi Koibito (Japanese white #chocolate biscuits) http://bit.ly/t3okn #
• FUCK! One can only get Shiroi Koibito Chocolat Blanc et Langue de Chat in Japan. FUUUUUCK!! *ready to cry* #
• Drunkity drunk drunk w/co workers. British+japanese people r fun to drink with… #
• "wat is ur favorite animal" "women" – drunken politically incorrect conversation with coworkers #
• Sake souju oh my #
• Gave british co-worker my panties. #
• Coworker fingered me on street. Put thumb in me, and then put thumb in his mouth #
• I like british boys #

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