• AAFE Chinatown Festival on Aug. 2, 11am-5pm in Colmbus Park. Food, demos, Chinese opera (via MUG) http://bit.ly/p1sv3 #
• considering my Vosges #bacon choco http://bit.ly/3soE2I addiction @debaucheddiva @Babecakes I need choinkwich from @biggayicecream ASAP!! #
• instead of gettin' hammered on vodka+pretty boys, I'm a-gonna sit in my cubicle and write/procrastinate. Like a semi-responsible, demi-adult #
• I'll be in D.C. area during Labor Day for family. While there, maybe I should also go to Master/slave Conference 2009? http://bit.ly/Wt9x2 #
• I'll have a choinkwich from @biggayicecream by end of next week @Babecakes. If not, I don't deserve to put "bacon" as part of my profile #
• RT @Mollena (Possibly NSFW) But, since it is a dog wanking, is it considered porn…? http://tinyurl.com/mak7qw [disturbingly hilarious] #
• RT @LarisaBelliveau LarisaBelliveauI now pronounce you monetized: a YouTube video case study [Google Blog] http://bit.ly/1WIEw #
• eesh. I just ate a burger topped w/bacon to delay having to work (i.e. write) #
• Others live to write. Me, I agree with Dorothy Parker: hate doing it, love what comes from it. Does this make me a fraud? #
• my god, @misscalico. Despite feeling ill, u're going 2 sex party – u're officially in my "badass playgrrl 4 lyfe" handbook! #
• I envy writers who *lurve* to write, @bencetera. I want to tell them: "I don't kno wat u're smoking, but u better share that shit!" #
• ? Don't u be wastin' all ur money – on syrup & honey – b/c I'm sweet enuff ?: Duffy – "Syrup & Honey" http://bit.ly/xTYXG #

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• people who don't eat pungent curry, slimy crab guts, or spicy-as-fuck kimchee are LAME. #
• I. DESPISE. Small. Talk. #
• srsly. why can't we just smile at each other in silence? This seems more sincere than small talk. #
• besides – sometimes (i.e. all the time) my brain is in "meow meow meow" mode. Expecting coherent convo from me is pointless #
• Coworker just told me I’m “great listener.” But my smiling/nodding/not interrupting was b/c I was still hi gh from being on Sephora website #
• great thing abt male co-workers: I can yell "u're gonna love my nuts!" (a la ShamWow Vince) +get standing ovation vs. getting sent to HR #
• Cancelled on Finnish gay ex-bf 2nite. So I can put my ass on chair & write. I feel guilty, but…he doesn’t ne ed me to find dick #
• In about 10 minutes, I ate1,200 calories worth of bite size hazelnut wafer cookies. I feel both disgust + admiration for my gluttony #
• now I'm eating instant ramen bowl. B/c my body is semi-dyslexic and thinks fatigue = hunger. I’m so smaaaht #
• Finnish gay x-bf just called, needing to talk (like a girl). I didn’t pick up cell, to avoid any uncomfy convo (like a guy) #
• Quoting ShamWow Vince is a great way to avoid small talk @jeffersonreid. "Weather's nice" "Yea? You know the Germans make good stuff." #
• RT @Nicholai Martini OTD: 5cl Hendricks gin, 1cl Ambre Noilly Prat, garnish w/cucumber. Simple+quirky [great astringent for oily skin, too] #
• http://www.ihateclowns.com @goodnighthorse. 'nuff said. #
• brilliant! @taka_chan has VIDEO TRAILER http://kl.am/2hmt for his cell phone novel "Secondhand Memories" Tech+pop culture mashed together… #
• Dresdan Dolls/Amanda Palmer fans! RT @GuyKawasaki Singer made $11,000 on Twitter in two hours http://om.ly/?DDoU NC #
• RT @c_reed So, beer is being consumed at the White House. Yawn. Call me when they have a kegger #
• if it's ok for suits to sexually harass skirts at ur future "madmen" party @writingdirty – guess I'll have to wear a suit, then #
• the moment the boy turns 18, do him a favor and jump his bones @wendyblackheart. Of course, girls his age will be let down afterwards… #
• just realized – when I was 19, I fucked+dominated a 17yrold Taiwanese boy. He was fucking gorgeous. I was a fucking PREDATOR. Go me. #
• I didn't kno anything bout BDSM, but I had him crawl 2 me w/my panties in his mouth – and jack off/cum over my feet. While sucking panties #
• tired tired tired. still at work. writing. or trying to write. i spend 14hrs/day at work or writing. i just go home to sleep. ahhh – sleep. #
• my problem as a writer? as a human being? "Superfluous" in my middle name. One day, I'll change it to "Simplicity" … #
• I think 18yr old boy would b very confused if you bent him over and buttsexed him @wendyblackheart. Anal fisting may be better choice. #

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I’m currently writing a series of erotic stories, called “Cherry Girls & Flower Boys.” And it’s been a bitch to try to write, let alone finish, anything.

But two days ago – I finished vol. 1 of the story.

Mutha.
Fuckin.
YEA!

I basically stayed late at my day job cubicle, type type typing away even as the main office lights went into energy saver mode.

Trust me, when you’re all alone in an office, it’s scary.

The bathrooms are eerily quiet late at night – I was half-expecting that ghost from the Japanese movie “The Grudge” to show up.

• you could say "bitch, suck my dick…please" @PRCog. That's kinda cute. Gangsta lite. #
• If u're girl with nice ass AND perky tits, I get sprung and can't get past ur body to appreciate ur brain. Can I get an amen @ShellyKramer?! #
• which explains my totally id-centric comment on @CTK1's guest post: http://bit.ly/UMyvI. Nice ass+perky tits makes me into neanderthal #
• other variations @jeffersonreid: "please suck my dick, biyatch" [humorous] or "My dick. Suck it. Please. Bitch" [C. Walken-esque] #
• RT @GuyKawasaki 11 old-school Nintendo tricks you will never forget: http://om.ly/?CRbR AC (I totally did The Contra + Duck Hunt Dog!) #
• Paul Graham essay “Ramen Profitability" – making just enough from ur startup to cover living expenses http://b it.ly/u5zDH (via @pierres … #
• hey, LES (Manhattan) peeps – just found @boweryboogie's blog about wat's going on in our neighborhood http://bit.ly/aUnjB #
• semi-flirting via work email w/young sales guy. It's a hard-earned skill, being coquette whilst throwing around corporate sales forecasts #
• srsly, why doesn't sales guy just ask me out? We’ve spent hours on phone negotiating contract issues + still e nded up as Facebook friends #
• Well well well…guess whose coming back to town tomorrow night? Finnish gay ex-bf. #
• Finnish gay ex-bf and I made a pact that tomorrow would be low-key, respectable nite. (bullshit b/c he’s gasol ine and I’m a lit cigarette) #
• Erotica fans who like girls being forced to be dirty – read @writingdirty's smokin' hot http://writingdirty.com/?p=495 Ménage à Text #
• happy that Femdom girl contacted me on #fetlife. Reminds me that I still want to lock a boy up in chastity – and hold the only key #
• jesus @Mollena when u said "Wondering wat the fuck sword's for when he's packin heat" I was expectin something else http://twitpic.com/c33d0 #
• RT @jeffersonreid Oh, "H" yeah! RT @CTK1 "H"ello Peeps this is 1 of my favorites of all frikken' time (don't mock me). http://is.gd/1TtrA #
• trust @bortflancrest to find the grossest shit on the internets. RT: BORTS HOT LINK OF THE DAY: Two girls, one cyst – http://bit.ly/iMftC #
• relief! Koreans are done with the anorexic look. Now they're into "S-line" bodies – itty waist, curvy hips, enuff tits and ass #
• I wouldn't mind having this Korean model's S-line body. Ooh, now I feel all motivated to join gym. [VIDEO] http://bit.ly/Zx6Av #
• when I was studying in Seoul in 2002, Korean girls were sticks while Korean-Americans were curvy. I was considered freak b/c I have hips #
• but now – I've been told that younger Korean girls are all curvy as hell. B/c Koreans eat tons of red meat. And it's all hormone-injected #
• yea @wilhelminawang this S-line thing is huge in Korea. Damn, now I want S-line too! Why did I eat rubbish earlier?! #

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• little boy soldiers in Congo r used as human shields…only armed with a whistle http://bit.ly/KFwrT (via @DailyCandy) #
• I’m filled with so many tears. Sniffling at work. Something about boy soldiers hits the most painful spot insi de my chest #
• I read Ishmael Beah’s “A Long Way Gone” http://bit.ly/frK9L memoirs of being a boy soldier in 1 sitting @ B&N. I cried off all my makeup #
• My life is paradise compared to these boys. Angst is luxury emotion. I complain about writer’s block when they r thrown in pits of shit #
• Sometimes, I disgust myself. Srsly, I'm just taking up carbon footprint w/my sobbing #
• the world is fucking conspiring to cheer me up. Go away, sweet boys who send sweet emails! #
• Must. Resist. Smiling. Must. Maintain. Miserable. Artiste. Despair. >:( #
• Shit. Read sweet emails again. And now I'm all . I'm so lame. Fuck me with a chainsaw. #
• instead of the burger I want, I scarfed down an ahi tuna salad while trying not to barf it back up. Ah – vanity. #
• as a pretentious artiste (with an "e") I am obligated to create as much sturm und drang as possible @CorsetNCardigan #
• well, as long as u're not Asian male @mysummerbeard, u can prob. keep video game addiction under control. Asian guys…not so much. #
• No, no, no don't click on http://bit.ly/UMyvI to see pic of @CTK1's FINE body on her guest post on @BooksBelow's blog. No, don't do it. #
• I ??? Rocky Horror Picture Show @debaucheddiva! "Sweet Transvestite" is killer. Even my Korean mom likes it. "Very catchy songs," she says #
• RT @jeffersonreid Weed support that! RT @Noact2 Strip clubs, marijuana eyed during budget crunch – http://bit.ly/qmXyZ #
• Some guy in nice car just rolled up 2me and asked "u need a ride?" i heard "u wanna give me blow job and then be bludgeoned to death?" #
• There is smoke in my bldg. I smell smoke. I may be paranoid. It would suck if i died via fire tonight. #
• RT @GuyKawasaki Say cheese! Smile machine monitors employees in Japan: http://om.ly/?CRQJ [after living in Tokyo, this doesn't surprise me] #

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I spent all last week eating 5,000 calories a day. Self-gavage. All to avoid -- *gasp* finishing my Gloria+Tae story. 

And then today, I sent a series of self-pitying emails to a friend, filled with such pathetic-ness as: 

I’m a sham -- I can’t really write. If I continue, people will catch onto me.

People are doing me a favor, reading my stuff. 

My efforts are not good enough

And now, here I am -- almost 10pm. Overcome with an intense desire to anesthetize my anxiety with food…drama…household chores. Just anything that will delay the inevitable showdown with the blinking cursor on a blank Word document.

Time is a-tickin away…

Now the inner toughie in me is coming out. Swinging fists and singing Gwen Stefani’s “What You Waiting For”

Yea, what am I waiting for?
Take a chance you stupid ‘ho!

Writing a barely C- draft 

Seriously -- fuck this shit. 

Fuck this writer’s block and fuck this inability to just let go and let flow and fuck this paranoia and fuck this anxiety and fuck this ego trip and ego let down and fuck me for letting it chop my figurative balls off.

I just want to finish. It’ll be as disjointed and badly written as an episode of “True Blood” But -- what else do you expect from a girl whose literary education was refined on articles in back issues of Maxim Magazine?

Set it. And FORGET IT. 

Write it all tonight. Crank it out like the world will end in some bloody Aztec human sacrifice unless the draft is done by tomorrow morning.

Then start something new. 

Sounds like a plan to me.

• cousin bought me "cheer up" present: Fresh Fig Apricot shower gel+parfum. I ran out 2 months ago+didn't replenish. She noticed. She's sweet #
• now that my signature scent is replenished, I can go back to stinking up a room like a bad fruitcake. Excellent. #
• Just checked work voicemail. I think the Brit called (caller ID) but didn't leave message. Hmmm. #
• Ollder, married European exec chasing me is bad news. I'm not chasing back. Been there. Done that. Time to try other dysfunctional patterns #
• Ate so much this past week. Gained 5lbs. When i walk, my sides hurt from all this new fat. No joke. #
• I can't even walk properly cause my inner thighs r starting to rub together. Hm. Maybe i gained 8lbs? #
• I gotta lose this weight – 'cause i ordered a "bedroom only" outfit in size XS for this weekend. And sucking in one's tummy ain't sexy #
• I would starve myself for few days. But my stomach growls like that fuckin' MGM lion. My male co-workers would make fun of me mercilessly #
• I'm waddling and holding my round tummy like a pregnant woman. If i were actually pregnant, i'd be super cute. But i'm just OVERFED. #
• I don't kno how to ride bike @sub_mission. Plus, I can barely walk w/out killing myself – bike riding is guaranteed concussion. #
• also @sub_mission – I'm not sporty. I'll sit on handle of bike while boy pedals. I should re-start bellydance classes. #
• Dear god, please brainwash me into loving vegetables and hating sugar, fat, and everything else delicious + worth living for. #
• OW FUCK! waddling like pregnant woman has pulled a muscle in my ass and now I'm waddle-limping. Like Ol' G whose been shot in buttocks #
• Short vent on my blog: “Take a Chance You Stupid ‘Ho” – irrational fears about finishing my erotic storie s http://bit.ly/St9kT #

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• I'm bipolar and all that jazz, but days like today, where I just lay in bed and won't even eat, I scare myself. #
• Forcing myself to tweet in order to clutch onto some silver strings of human connection vs. fall into black hole. Kinda hilarious, no? #
• resisting urge to grab scissors and cut me some chinadoll bangs. For whatever reason, I feel need to re-style my hair when despondant #
• after reading that @Babecakes trekked from Brooklyn into the city for @biggayicecream – I want some goddamn ice cream, too. At 1am. Fuck. #
• suffering intense craving for peking duck. As in, I'd fucking stab you in the kidneys to get some of that crispy yet unctuous meat. #
• I also want chinese broccoli sauteed in bacon fat, korean spicy intestine stew loaded with innards, and…Japanese style curry + tonkatsu? #
• Japanese curry is totally different from Indian, or Thai, or any other type of curry. Hard to explain, but it's smoother http://bit.ly/1f9Tg #
• ha @jlnoblezada – my palate = pregnant woman food cravings. Kimchee+ bacon on spaghetti, followed by ice cream, is typical meal for me. #
• now craving: korean style oyster pancakes http://bit.ly/9MQz7 + cantonese style roast suckling pig + kimchee + japanese cream puffs #
• my cuz just called. Offered to buy me meal in K-town's 24/7 restaurants. But she's drunk on Jaeger shots and I'm too cheap to take a cab. #
• Some say vanity is a sin. But vanity keeps me from plunging into pits of despair. Even in hell, I don't want bad hair day or dull complexion #
• I could lay in bed like corpse for weeks. But who will put Aztec mud mask on my face? I don't have aesthetician named Olga living with me #
• sorry drugstore #mascara (under $10) – I've tried all of ya. And nothing compares to Yves Saint Laurent Aquaresistant mascara ($23) #makeup #
• quickie review: YSL Aquaresistant #mascara doesn't lengthen, but it makes lashes black as Satan's shit, thick as a baby's forearm #makeup #
• My cousin offered to take me to salon for a $400 Japanese digital perm (more info: http://bit.ly/16tgz0) once I finish "Gloria+ Tae" story. #
• oh, and she is also bribing me to finish with promises to take me to dinner at Per Se (http://bit.ly/6yO6k) or WD-50 (http://bit.ly/EMK41) #
• …and a shopping spree at Sephora. Thank you, 2nd auntie + uncle's money, for making all these GLORIOUS finish prizes possible! #
• my pores thank u in advance 4 Aztec mud mask caretaking @ShellyKramer @ctk1 – this is why I ALWAYS put 'hos be4 bros / sistas be4 misters #
• RT @BillCammack Be Yourself in Relationships http://billcammack.com/?p=5887 [best line: Don’t let door hit’cha where Good Lord split’cha] #
• even my sister is getting into the bribing-to-help-me-finish-writing! She prob. remembers our childhood+how I did homework for Barbie dolls #
• even when I have access to sex, I prefer reading smutty stories while using toys on myself @wilhelminawang. Which is why I don't need sex #
• when I see cute pics of dolphins @LarisaBelliveau, I think of how they sexually harass divers. Then those dolphin smiles turn nefarious… #
• I told @writingdirty that I'm asexual aesthete @wilhelminawang. I ? marks+pics+memories+imagining. But 4me, I can take/leave actual sex act #
• btw @wilhelminawang when u wear njoy anal plug (just received mine!) does it slip out during day? I want 2wear it all day. Like socks. #
• actually @wilhelminawang, I'm jealous of highly sexual peeps (like u). I find it near impossible to orgasm with another person. #
• I don't mind being orgasm-less w/others @writingdirty. I go home, masturbate, make smores with bacon choc. bars…and end w/foodgasm. Win. #
• the few times I did orgasm w/another person, it was with a girl+vibrator @wilhelminawang. I may have to call u up if I'm up north #
• RT @LarisaBelliveau Did capitalism bring back an old custom of concubines in China? http://bit.ly/nzC7U [of course. Thank u Deng Xiaoping] #
• mom suggested I join a gym so I can be "healthy" (i.e. skinny). Feeling devious – I should hold out 'til she bribes me with pretty things. #
• ooh @ninadelamorte, have you had marmite on thick, spongy Japanese-style white bread (milky loaf: http://bit.ly/1kHcur)? Yum yum yum! #
• hint 4 asian girls w/straight lashes: shiseido eyelash curler (use blow dryer on 'em for few secs) + shiseido lasting lift mascara. #makeup #
• trust my family to know how to get me out of bed/depths of despair: "hey, I'll buy you dinner at Rosa Mexicana." I'm such a #food slut #
• Dude smokin a tobacco pipe on 62nd + broadway. Shit, i need to get one pronto. #
• Anyone who avoids guacamole as "fattening" deserves to be flung into one of dante's circle of HELL. #
• Same with alcohol. If u don't drink fire water b/c of calories, be thoughtful – sterilize urself. The world doesn't need another lame-o #
• Ate so much mexican food. Ready to give birth to 8lbs 3oz burrito #
• In Church (Sephora). It is Sunday after all. #
• Cousin getting lessons from makeup artist. I keep forgetting that the avg girl likes pro help. #
• In college, i worked at #makeup counter at Nordstrom and my personal makeup was my sales tool. So i kno exactly wat works for me. #
• My idea of heaven: aisles of every makeup brand in world. And i invite all my girls and we do makeovers all day long. #
• RT @wendyblackheart people who still have emotional issues killing vampires during an attack are pussies [LMFAO. I want u on my team] #
• a man who eats fast food but orders diet soda probably sucks in bed @swtgal_92. How could he not?! #
• ha @AliceSinAerie World Series of Poker has no idea they RTed ur post to me abt cross-dressing boy w/poker strait lashes http://bit.ly/BuRW9 #
• god is in tube of DiorShow mascara @goodnighthorse. Everytime I flutter my lashes – an angel gets its wings. (I'm so full of shit) #makeup #
• get thee to Church of Sephora @CorsetNCardigan. Your penance: Urban Decay Sin primer potion (http://bit.ly/jVePH) and 3 hail marys. #
• jesus @maymaym – shouldn't ur neighbors be applauding the loud #sex ur having instead of complaining? I'd be sending u a "GOOD JOB!" card #

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• Damn, "deadgirl" is SUCH A FUCKED UP MOVIE!!! And little kids are in audience. Outrageous. #
• Q&A with director of "deadgirl" right now. Audience is fucking speechless. Shocked. Director is pleased. This is FUCKED UP MOVIE #
• Someone in audience compared "deadgirl" to "walk to remember." a sweet love story. Actually – yes, i can see it #
• Little kid in audience asked "how much makeup did u put on the dead girl?" #
• Answer: "a lot". Yo,wat is a 9yrold doing watching zombie porn at midnite? Audience agrees: the kid is fucked #
• Holy. Shit. @goodnighthorse just gave me the HAWTEST #FollowFriday nod ever! He's so ??? http://twitter.com/goodnighthorse/status/2826349189 #
• swimming trunks falling off hot guys is only awesome when it's unintentional @Ashleybird. Otherwise, it's skanky man whore behavior. #
• I'm telling ya @writingdirty, admission to get into ur True Blood party should be bared breasts. After all – u serve pigs in blanket. #
• It's 4pm – just woke up. I slept off much of my sleep deficit. However, now I feel massively ill b/c I slept so goddamn long. #
• On the other hand, I could be ill b/c I ate huge amount of movie popcorn and 500 gummy bears last nite. #

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• so @timbrownson suggested I read this on goal setting http://snipurl.com/ntxs3. I'm grumbling b/c it's a fucking useful. I should follow it. #
• RT @writingdirty new post: "A Casual Beating" http://writingdirty.com/?p=491 [very hot BDSM story - esp. the last part] #
• When i eat chicken wings, I get sauce all over my face. Like those trailer trash kids who need a wipe-down w/wet tissue. I'm so LAME. #
• Received "gothic lolita punk" book http://bit.ly/13zLVI from some1 who said it reminded him of me. Now i'm glowing 'cause I feel COOOOL #
• Wanna know more abt Gothic Lolita style? (gwen stefani's aesthetic from 1st solo album takes MAJOR cues from it) http://bit.ly/id1u1 #
• I soooo want this red Sweet Lolita-style dress http://bit.ly/FP1c8. looking like a sweetheart doll = WIN. #
• At newly opened Holister store on broadway. The one with half naked "lifeguards" in front. The sales staff is dancing like it's beach party #
• So many girls r tryin to mack on these lifeguards. Their trunks r falling off their asses. We're talkin' i can almost see their cocks. #
• Gonna watch the 12:15 showing of "deadgirl" movie. Heard it is totally heinous. Yea…zombie porn usually is #
• So i'm eating movie popcorn. Before movie. My greasy butter fingers, i'm wiping on my bare legs. Free moisturizer! #
• "have u seen Pumpkinhead? That movie is so sweeeeet" – hipster boy sitting next to me and my cousin #
• My cousin: "that's 4o ninja" then says: "u have 1st person perspective, he has a 2nd" She's buddha in a bottle. She asks that u don't hate. #

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