• RT @plagiarismtoday Speaking tonight at a FREE teleseminar on the basics of protecting content: http://bit.ly/12KayS Everyone invited! in reply to plagiarismtoday #
  liver laughing
• RT @andysowards RT @mlane 30 Artistic and Creative Resumes http://bit.ly/1adULb (Krista Gregg’s resume is my fave) in reply to andysowards #
  liver laughing
• RT @andysowards RT @NickelBids Apple to answer netbook market with $500-$700 tablet – report http://ow.ly/8i9R (Oh god, pls let this happen) #
  liver laughing
• God wants you to buy more Macs, @NickelBids. Don’t fight it. in reply to NickelBids #
  liver laughing
• For whatever reason, I am blaming myself for a vendor (who works with my company) starting to sexually harass me. #
  liver laughing
• I feel I was “too nice” and maybe he misconstrued my niceness as an invitation? #
  liver laughing
• Fortunately, my male co-workers are aware and now protecting me from him. Black, I feel like helpless female. #
  liver laughing
• Now I feel like I’m being hysterical female. I mean, it’s not like he was being crude. He just kept asking me out. Is that harassment? #
  liver laughing
• A couple male co-worker offered to give stern warning to the vendor. But that will make everything awkward. I would rather just ignore him #
  liver laughing
• Trying to write a short-story based on the stylistic components of Dana Levin’s poem “Lenin’s Bath”: http://bit.ly/DGEmv #
  liver laughing
• Someone at work changed the TV to Fox News, and Rush Limbaugh is on. I need to take a shower. #
  liver laughing
• May I state the obvious? Strapping young men in military officer uniform are *drool* I’d b more than happy to dress as nurse for them #

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• well @ct_kingston, u missed me trying to sit-on-ass-&-write. (Oi, Yoda’s voice jes popped up in my head: Do or Do not. There is no try) in reply to ct_kingston #
• RT @glowlab RT @artlog Incredible street art exhibition in huge warehouse space in NYC next week http://artlog.com/ in reply to glowlab #
• Maybe b/c I’m pisces – but I could stand here, watching waves pound the beach rocks – until I die – and feel I lived fulfilling life. #
• Grr, I always miss In The Flesh! I have a writing workshop tomorrow, @writingdirty. Wish I could go… in reply to writingdirty #
• just realized – I spend $30/month on my lashes b/c I wear 4 different mascara at same time: Shiseido, YSL, FiberWig, Too Faced #makeup #
• RT @saynine Like Stone Tablets from on high I give you, 380 Twerverts on the Fetlife/Twitter List & revisions http://tr.im/2vfc Pls RT in reply to saynine #
• Ooh, I wanna see this exhibit by Paris-based Korean artist Lee Bae @ White Box Bowery http://bit.ly/JItSD (via @NYArtBeat) in reply to NYArtBeat #
• I’ve taken Gotham and Writers Workshop, @writingdirty. I prefer WW – taught me how to distinguish btwn narrator vs. character. Sooo helpful in reply to writingdirty #
• interesting, @writingdirty. Currently, I take Writer’s Workshop, and it’s EXTREMELY literary. I’m the most genre-writer there. in reply to writingdirty #
• Old-school Mario Bros. corruption. This tee may even be cooler than my “Eckhart is My Homeboy” tee. http://bit.ly/pk61J (via @threadless) in reply to threadless #
• experimenting with http://identi.ca (waves to @maymaym). It’s like Twitter but based on open-source freeware Laconica. #
• RT @Mollena I was oddly touched by this dude’s explanation of why he doesn’t watch the pr0n http://tinyurl.com/qknp6k (I want man like that) #
• Promo video for Montreal Fetish weekend (Sept 2009) http://bit.ly/QMGxr. I ? dressing glamorously + ? Montreal – so, I’m gonna try to go… #
• discovered a geek-chic way to say “fuck off” (from @GuyKawasaki): UFM (UnFollow Me). I’m so stealing it! #

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• Korean pop – ????’s “GEE” ? http://blip.fm/~6l4b0 #
• yes, watching this YouTube video of a girl Korean pop band is legitimate research for my screenplay: http://bit.ly/8WZaP #
• ????’s “GEE” is on YouTube as well: http://bit.ly/Bco3S. In my next life, I shall be part of a K-Pop girl group and have really cute hair #
• *smile* @SabrinaMorgan pleasure was all mine! I’m from ‘nilla world and ur intelligence + class + sweetness destroyed any stereotypes I held #
• I rec. that everyone attend at least 1 yrly event that is beyond ur usual crowd/comfort zone. For me, #sex20 was so educational, expansive #
• hey @carnivalesq, I’ve found that men who work at sex stores are quite chivalrous. Maybe because they witness so much tawdry behavior? #
• I adore the simplicity of this poem and description of sky as “deep, headstrong blue” – What the Living Do http://bit.ly/2qp1u8 #
• friend just made reservations for us to have prix fixe lunch at Jean George this afternoon. Let them eat cake, for sure. #
• co-worker just asked me a math question. ‘Cause I’m Asian and we’re good at #math. #
• Gorged on steak for lunch at Jean Georges. Talked loudly abt #sex20 in resaturant filled with rich white, upper west side folk. #
• Stood in kinokuniya and read shoko tendo’s “yakuzsa moon” from cover to cover. Tears were slipping down my face. #
• A thousand heartbreaks / each humming by my ear / “don’t forget me” / before dropping like expired fruit flies #
• My heart is shattering. Simply because. And it is so beautiful I can’t look away #
• Some people from http://vault-mag.com just took my pic in front of grafitti in St. Marks #fb #
• considering creating an “Asian Stereotype” cheat sheet for @ct_kingston. Particularly a “You know You’re Korean If…” checklist #
• but @viviane212 – I bet you can still calculate 17.5% tip on a bill even when drunk! <– power of Asian math skillz #
• Japanese secretaries are some of the most efficient human beings on earth. Good choice, @ct_kingston #

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• she’s @aimeesong, and she’s gorgeous, Asian, and photo-documents her outfits: http://songofstyle.blogspot.com/ #
• an irrational voice in my head says: “if you lose 30lbs, all your problems will be solved.” #
• It’s very sad when a normal-sized, perfectly healthy young woman feels at war with her mirror. #
• I should re-watch @margaretcho’s stuff about body image and self-acceptance. I ? her – a real Korean-American role model. #
• RT @andysowards RT @nourayehia 100 Amazing Free WordPress Themes http://tinyurl.com/onnhvz (via @smashingmag) #
• *sigh of relief* my taxes were finally filed. My poor CPA – dealing with a space cadet like me! #
• By the way, small business owners in NYC – my CPA is the bomb diggety. http://www.mortontax.com #
• yipee – good chance that I will hang out later with NyssaNevers (gorgeous Asian fetish model) http://www.modelmayhem.com/1613 #
• “Bleeker Street” – poem by Pulitzer-winning poet Philip Schultz http://bit.ly/6v98G #
• well, @writingdirty my lunch is a seared tuna salad with extra grilled chicken and a ginger wasabi dressing. in reply to writingdirty #
• RT @ct_kingston I can always find the needle. It’s the hay stack that eludes me (I swear, this girl is my TWIN!) in reply to ct_kingston #
• 2009 #Wines of Chile Tasting on June 3. http://bit.ly/19jx3(I’m on a S.American wine kick, so I’m going. Anyone else?) #
• screenwriters + film/TV people in NYC – WGA-E is co-throwing this network event: http://bit.ly/cdh3g (I’m going – anyone else?) #
• NYC #sex20 -ers, Misha and I are planning on dim sum in Chinatown on Sun. May 24. We’d love for others to join! DM me if interested. #
• it’s a pleasure to get to know my mom as a fellow adult, not just as “Mom, I need to borrow some money.” #
• to all the moms out there who feel misunderstood and ignored by your bratty teen daughters…hang in there. She WILL see your ? one day #
• RT @andysowards No song is more on point than this one: Weird Al Yankovic – White & Nerdy ? http://blip.fm/~6kw3a (Asian+nerdy is my theme) #
• I just sent @andysowards white+nerdy blip to my ex-bf. Who is white. Hates my guts. And hasn’t spoken to me in a year. Maybe not best idea. #
• Even b4 I read this was Morrissey’s fave song, it was my fave Smith’s song. ? http://blip.fm/~6kzkl #

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• I am using my social life to procrastinate from writing “Cutie Y.A.Y.” screenplay. Lame! #
• omg! Bacon + chocolate! My crack-cocaine! http://tinyurl.com/q42l6d (via @viviane212) #
• RT @cunningminx video of Jack Murnighan of Nerve speaking on Beyond Erotica at #sex20 http://is.gd/AMtu #
• RT @cunningminx How to Get Some slides are up on SlideShare http://is.gd/AMdE #sex20 #
• ((big hugs)) @Mollena. Ugh, so wiggety-wack. Ugh! #
• y’know @goodnighthorse, the more I hear about the lack of good culinary experiences in the UK, the more scared I am to go there! #
• Note to self: having ADD is an explanation…not an excuse. #
• There are 2 white guys eating pho like native vietnamese (all exotic meats, tons of hot sauce). I assume they are equally adventurous in bed #
• Of course, I splattered pho soup all over my shirt. And my mouth. How old am I again? #
• Holy. I think I just found subterranean whorehouse on east broadway. The chinese sign is covered in hearts – and only men go in and out. #
• Yes. I just ate pho. And yes, I am now ordering beef fried rice. #fb #
• I must’ve been foie gras goose in another life. Gauvage = story of my life. #
• Why is this beef fried rice so bland? I bet they gave me the Americanized version. Grrr. #
• Little asian girls with long hair and frilly dresses are so cute. Even the corner thugs were like, “aww!” #
• well @Reiver01US, according to my eye-hand coordination, I’m like 14-months old! A grown woman should not use a sippy cup! #
• I’ve been glutton my entire life, @bzero. When I was 3, I was rushed to hospital for eating an entire bowl of jja jjang myun myself. #
• oi, @ct_kingston – later, I realized they gave me the American menu, not the real menu. I felt discriminated against. Though I’m Korean. #
• RT @lovingpho Interesting piece: “If MSG is so bad for you, why doesn’t everyone in Asia have a headache?” http://bit.ly/rvvbr #
• Just saw reflection of my thighs in window – calorie fest must stop. The answers I’m seeking are not in the haagen-daaz pint I just finished #
• but @psyche212, my apricot bikini is ready to boycott the beach this summer. That’s it! I’m going back on raw foods. #
• listening to “A Violent Yet Flammable World – Au Revoir Simone” ? http://blip.fm/~6i7m0 #
• oh jesus. the #fetlife sub boy I met up with yesterday? He sent me an accusatory email about what I wrote about him on Twitter #
• he just wrote me that I’m trying to “look cool in front of twitter friends” by giving my honest opinion of him. #

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I used to write dirty stories for many of my previous boyfriends. They were easy to write, almost TOO easy.

All my adult life, I’ve learned to figure out what men want from me. But what do I want from myself?

This is why writing on Proper Filth is so damn difficult. I’m not writing for men – I’m writing for women, for myself. And my personal fantasies are colored by secrecy, even shame.

Why would a man want to please ME?
Why would a man find me worthy of love?
Why would a man make me feel good about myself?

In this world of Girls Gone Wild videos, rampant objectification of the female body, and hyper-sexualized everything…it seems almost ridiculous that sex + intimacy + tenderness can somehow mingle and exist together.

Even as I write this, I feel an intense blockage. There isn’t any flow. Everything seems so hard, like fighting against gravity, fighting against reality.

I want to expound on what it is exactly that I feel, but instead I feel intense panic inside my gut. So I leave it at this.

Crawling. I am crawling. Maybe one day, I’ll be able to stand.

• Gorgeous latino paramedics in the union sq. Walgreens. Too bad my cuz, the antonio banderas lover isn’t here. #fb #
• Met a #fetlife sub boy in person. He was a bit obnoxious and awkward but overall nice guy. #
• “amanda, I’m so in love with you! Brennan loves you!” handmade posters around union sq. Sooo cute. #
• Overheard on street: “i’m half jew – the mom half. Got all the guilt and none of the cash.” #
• I’m eating alone (as usual) at a restaurant, feeling intensely lonely (totally unusual – I love eating solo). Why today, all of sudden? #
• Totally eavesdropping on gay couple next to me. They’re talking about a grandmother with paper thin skin who only wore slacks. #
• Now they’re talking abt a sister’s dysfunctional marriage. In Thailand only way4 wife to get half from divorce is to catch husband cheating. #
• Wonder if someone else is twittering abt “asian girl eating alone, talking to no1, txting on her phone constantly.” #

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• Not hung over from #nerdnite, despite 3 mixed drinks + 2 shots + 1 beer. For Asians, that = 7 dirty martinis. #
• RT @GuyKawasaki Jealous female gorillas solicit unproductive sex. http://adjix.com/pgf4 (see also http://zoology.alltop.com/) GR #
• Just realized: I haven’t had sex in 14 months. It’s been happiest 14 months of my life. So, I shall continue my delightful nun experience. #
• I knew I was a vampire, but @CharlieGilkey’s Productivity Heatmap proves to me that my day job is costing me my writing: http://bit.ly/rqkIC #
• y’know @kwanzer, the horizontal mamba is very draining. I’d much rather cuddle and snuggle than do the deed – much more energizing. #
• hey @HelenASPopkin, creating sensational headlines is a damn fine skill. I’m a fan! #
• Impulsively made appt. to drastically change my hair tomorrow. I may regret it, but…fuck it. #fb #
• There may even be time for my customary Mr.Softie vanilla cone. Where are u, truck of sweet lovin’? #
• So jealous of girls with strong bone structure who can wear Morticia Adsams hair. On me, I’d look like science experiment. #
• Cute boutique on 9th, btwn 1st and ave A – called Tae. Very Hongdae Seoul stylish-cute. Gonna visit after cut at Ueno. #fb #
• I ate 5 plates sushi, large slice of BBQ chicken pizza and now am eating big bowl of pho. All in 1hr. I befuddle myself. #
• Why the fuck did i order the largest bowl of pho ever to exist in this dimension? #fb #
• Cartilage, ligaments and intestines taste amazing. White folks, are u nauseous yet?! #fb #
• Today, people have spoken to me in japanese and cantonese. Once someone busts out the Korean, i will be complete. #
• I can’t walk too fast or I’ll hurl. So fucking full. Omg. Pain. Ow. Ow. Barf. #
• It’s gonna be a long nite. #
• Just saw asian chick with most severe Mao Zedong haircut ever. She looked scary and AH-mazing. #
• Fuck. My night has been hjacked by my queasy digestive track. #
• wanna see a semi-full-length pic of the American Apparel dress I wore to #nerdnite? forgive the barf-y hipster pose: http://bit.ly/IkwqJ #
• it was a fun nite, @writingdirty. GUUUD TYMES! #
• hey @writingdirty – should we submit proposal to present at #nerdite? What say you? #

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• Looking fwd to going to Nerd Nite tonight with @maymaym and @kimmiecakes. Anyone else going? http://nerdnite.com/ #
• X @writingdirty oi vey, I tweeted this all over mah ‘lil Twitter. That said…u coming? #
• X @writingdirty Nerd Nite might sell out at the door – if u r pretty sure u’re gonna come, best to buy 9pm online. http://nyc.nerdnite.com/ #
• On the day I wear a teeny, tight-as-fuck dress – I also decide to eat at the Indian buffet. Eh, I feel like a sausage. #fb #
• X @TimBrownson But I did take pics of myself in the dress before said buffet. I’ll post them up tomorrow as reminder to STOP BEING A PIG! #
• RT @Mollena RT @tj: I got 99 umbrellas but I can’t find one. Related: This is why white people aren’t allowed to write hip-hop songs. #fb #
• X @marcnobbs you bought a ferrari? As in the sleek sports car? Nice shopping spree! #
• At nerd nite w/ @writingdirty, @maymaym, @kimmiecakes and new @bluestockings friends. #
• Omg bartender at nerd nite is so fucking hot! Part japanese. #
• Lots of cute girls at nerd nite. I wanna kiss them all. #
• My god, the teledildonics presentation at nerd nite is sooooo bomb diggety. Video games controlled by ur genitals?! #
• Seismic dildo! #nerdnite #
• Intrepid masturbator – @writingdirty’s new slogan #
• Hey. I want a fucking machine. #
• Will we fall in love with robots? #
• Why is academia and medicine not addressing sexual arousal? What it means to be sexual animal/human? #nerdnite #
• Does sexual harassment happen online? In video games? #nerdnite #
• If u have virtual kiddie sex, is it sick? Persecutible? #
• Can robots experience arousal? Some people are married to their robots. #nerdnite #

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• RT @whoopieschool RT @thattoychick Retweet this if you disagree w/Twitter’s decision to hide replies to people you don’t follow #fixreplies #
• RT @eromance Sexual Ethics in Romance http://tinyurl.com/ocklhz #
• RT @Bodhipaksa : Maia, my toddler, is singing “Mary Had A Little Boobie.” Sometimes I worry about that girl. #fb #
• after reading @Mollena’s twanalyst, decided to try it myself. Says my style: garrulous coherent SHARER (coherent? haha!) http://bit.ly/YOzC1 #
• considering making a 3-min SlideShare presentation of notes from my #sex20 session. People in my session, any highlights I should include? #
• but @teal64 … surely CNN is still worth watching for @ricksanchezcnn! #
• I’m going to my work’s health fair simply for the free sandwhiches. #fb #
• RT @NYArtBeat [sister site in TOKYO] New series of casual interviews on TABlog “TABuzz” Read #1 http://pea.to/tabuzz1 (via @TokyoArtBeat_EN) #
• this vegetarian sandwich isn’t bad. But it would taste better with a shitload of bacon on top. #fb #
• What does a space station smell like? How do you do #2 in zero gravity?Now I know thanks to (real) astronaut Leroy Chiao http://bit.ly/9epTq #
• RT @chrisguillebeau New from @charliegilkey – Where are you the most creative? http://tinyurl.com/p2k7py #
• . @MiaOnTop have you tried rolfing? I had 1st session yesterday and my chest + shoulders are so…straight now. http://www.cityrolfing.com/ #
• A female classmate just sent me a very flirty email. Me likey. #
• Gawd, http://musebin.com is going to land me in the poor house. Music nerds – don’t sign up for their weekly reviews unless u like poverty. #
• hey @jonathanfields, I’m definitely interested in a NYC tweetup in early June! #
• well @musebin…you do have a point. I could also try to find a suga daddy, but the economy is hitting everyone in the balls. #
• Wtf? Where is the Mr. Softie ice cream truck? I need my daily vanilla cone! #
• Eating fig ice cream in whole foods. Ooh, wanna try riesling sorbet. Did i mention i’m semi lactose intolerant? #
• HAWT BOY ALERT: chinatown. He looks like a cantonese James Dean in white t-shirt. #
• RT @GuyKawasaki Cleanup of rotten food in office fridge sends 7 to hospital. http://adjix.com/cwxn (last sentence of article: priceless) #fb #
• TwiSSTing in full effect! @writingdirty set up @afiction – I just updated w/couple of tweets. From now on I’ll sign with “AK” at the end #
• I’ve just been invited to a Russian wedding in Bay Ridge next week! The invite says it’s from 9pm – 2am, and everyone must drink. WERD!!! #
• I ? partying with Russians. Once the vodka flows, they become reincarnated Pushkins. Too bad I can’t understand a word. #
• RT @misscalico Latest post: The Craigslist shutdown is not the answer http://tinyurl.com/pcakwd (100% agree) #fb #

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